Under the weather

It's been a long week. Been fighting a cold since last Saturday and have felt run down most days. I wake up with a cough but that seems to settle/go away after I'm up for a few hours. Pretty sure it's nasal nastiness settling over the night. I have a wicked nasty gag reflux so it's difficult for me to expel of such nastiness. I know.. TMI! 

I am sick of feeling sick though. But on the bright side,  I have been feeling a bit better each and every day but it's been a long week or so. 

The hubs has been the exact same. His cough is a bit worse than mine but still completely manageable. We have kept inside for the most part other than to get a few groceries done on Saturday. 

The sickness has at least kept my food in order. I have been drinking vitamin C drinks in the morning which have sugar in them and having a few Halloween candies after dinner, but otherwise I've been pretty good. 

My weight was down this weekend. Probably due to the face that I have not had any wine/alcohol for the month but also less food with this cold. 

Have to dream up some food for dinner. I have to admit, I hate coming up with a meal every night to feed the family. Especially, when I'm not hungry myself. 

Hoping this cold continues to make it's exit from my body and that the low weight continues on the scale! 

Recovery

We survived Thanksgiving. 

Food was lovely. Was great to see family and we survived the MIL! 

I ignored the MIL for a good part of the evening. I was visiting with my sister anyways, whom I have not seen since my dad's funeral, so I had a good excuse.  At the end of the evening the MIL managed to wedge her way into our conversation. I had earlier informed my sister of the MIL's issues and our challenges with her. My sister is a counsellor and she has offered on many occasions to talk to the MIL but I know the MIL will just reject any possible counselling, even if it is from "family". 

Well, she butted in the conversation so she ended up getting a bit of counselling!  Not about the abuse that she is putting on her body but more about her loneliness and grief and the fact that she has NEVER mourned the passing of her husband some 11 years ago. She still blames him for dying. That's stage 2 of grief, isn't it? They chatted for a bit of time and I just sat and listened and heard the same responses of,  "I'm fine, All is good". She then abruptly got up and left. We haven't heard from her since. 

My BIL and his family (hubby's brother) has offered for the MIL to come up and live with them for a few months. Great, right? Well not really. The BIL lives about 800 KM away from us, on a ranch and is about a 25 minute drive from the nearest town.  And it snows there. A lot. Both he and his wife work during the day and the kids go to school so even though he does a few days working from home, there will be many long days for the MIL to just sit and stew. 

That's a long time for someone that is not in their comforts of home to be alone.  She will be unable to drink (that's a good thing) as she will have no way to go and buy it and they won't buy it for her. She will be cranky and mean from being all alone all day and not having her vices. 

My hubby talked to his brother and asked him to reconsider his offer. He said for the sake of his marriage and sanity, to either reduce the invited stay to a much shorter period (maybe 10 days) or do it during the holidays when they are all home. Still to be determined what will come of that. I will also mention that BIL's wife dislikes MIL more than I do. I ignore her but she actually argues with her. It's not a good idea. 

I'm just thankful, that we made it through Thanksgiving! 

Now gotta start thinking about Christmas. 

Oh, and I did succumb to 2 glasses of wine on Saturday at dinner but that was it. Nothing friday even when we went out for dinner with friends! My weight is up this week so really that's unfortunate. But I did have pie at dinner on saturday and sunday. 

Thanksgiving

This weekend we will celebrate Thanksgiving - the Canadian version at least.  

This will be my first thanksgiving as an orphan - no momma and no poppa to celebrate with me. It's been almost 25 years since my mom past away but with dad leaving us this past January, it will be a hard few months with thanksgiving and then Christmas. 

I love the holidays. I love having the boys home with their girlfriends and this year with Covid restrictions lifted my sister and her family can join us as well. We are going to keep it casual with regards to food and just have Lasagna (courtesy of a local Italian restaurant) and salad. We will gab and laugh, watch some hockey and just have a good night. 

Oh and the MIL is coming too. God help us. Don't get me wrong, I've tried, tried really really hard to like that woman but I don't. I can't. I won't. She's tried for 25 years to form a relationship with me, but I have avoided and refused it at all costs. I'm not sure if it's the fact that my mom is no longer here and I don't want a replacement or if I just don't like her. I'm pretty sure it's the latter. 

The kicker is this - she's getting older and she's not taking care of herself at all. She has let her health go downhill the last few years and especially with Covid. My hubby rarely sees her and whenever he calls her, she's drunk.  Now, this used to be a woman that always dressed nicely, kept her house super clean and saw her friends on a regular basis. Now she sits at home in her own filth, drinks all day and rarely sees anyone. 

We've talked to her about getting help as she's clearly depressed but she denies it all and tells us she's fine. Her house smells like cat pee and her fridge is empty.  My husband took her to a retirement home last week. One where you can start off unassisted but then move into assisted living if needed.  She faked her way through the tour and oohed and aahed the entire time and then when they left she said it was nice but she's not yet ready for that. We believe she said that because she can't smoke there and they will limit her alcohol consumption. 

I'm embarrassed for my husband who is embarrassed for his mom. I also feel guilt in that we are not doing more, but something about her is preventing me from wanting to help her. I'm not sure what it is. It might be that she doesn't want our help, so why bother. Or maybe it's just cause I really don't care for her and that when she rubbed me the wrong way 30 some years ago, I've just never quite gotten over it. 

Regardless of what it is, she will be coming to my house on Saturday with her gossipy ways and her piss-filled Depends and I will be dreading the fact that I picked October to give up the wine! 

So Happy Canadian Thanksgiving y'all. Wish me luck! 

Slowly getting there

Slowly getting back to where I was in July... slooowwwwly. But maybe it'll stick for longer this time. 

WI this morning was 172.4 :)  Down from 174.2 last week (-1.8).  So closer to the wall than before but still not over it. 

I'm going to try the no alcohol thing again for a bit. I don't drink a ton but I know when I have a glass or two or three of wine on the weekend it does slow my metabolism and it also makes me super snackie. 

We have a football party to go to on Sunday so after that I'm calling it quits. Hopefully for the month. Sober October!! :) 

Not setting a "goal" for myself this coming month other than the alcohol thing so hopefully everything just falls into place with that one goal and the weight melts away. Ha Ha... 

It is also Halloween so I'm sure there will be a box or two or three of candy coming into the house as well so that will be a temptation I will have to work through. Maybe I'll just buy black licorice and candy corn. Maybe that will stop my snacking! 

Here's to turning over the somberness of September and fully embracing Fall and all it has to offer! Sweaters, boots and sparkling water! 

WI 2

I'm up from last week. 174.2 

But all in all I think I had a better week. I was more conscious about what I was putting in my mouth and sometimes it was bad but for the most part I did much better. 

Yesterday was Taco Tuesday so I know my sodium levels were up a bit which might account for a higher weight this morning but I think it's actually pretty accurate. 

So up .7 from last week. Not awful. Not great. 

I press on. I know that there are still many many improvements that I can make so I'm not beating myself up about the "gain" this week. 

I need to remove that mid afternoon snack. I really don't need it. Its such a habit.  Also don't need the dessert after dinner even if it is just a small snack. Just don't need it. 

My goal this week is to limit more carbs as I'm still feeling super bloated.

Starting to do some online shopping and as I said last week, no bigger sizes!  Also getting my hair done on Thursday! It feels like it's been ages since I got it cut/colored so yea!! 

So I'm not discouraged and I hope I can keep pressing on. 

1st WI Wednesday

 Not actually the 1st WI wednesday but the 1st since the end of summer. Or the end of MY summer. 

Was on vacation the last few weeks and honestly the full month of august felt like one big vacation. 

Lots of celebrating, seeing friends, drinking, eating, just having a great summer. 

We took the first week of September off to celebrate our anniversary and figured because most of our friends were returning to work and getting kids back to school etc, we thought it would be a quiet vacation. 

Not so much.  But we did have an amazing time. 

Lots of food and drink and laughs and just great times. 

So when I went back to work this past Monday and weighed myself I was - get ready for it.. 

177.3. WTF? 

UGH. Here we go again. 

Well, I decided enough is enough. Summer is now over for me and I want to get serious. It's jean and sweater season but I still want to look good in my clothes and I hate feeling bloated, which is what I've been feeling the last 6 or so weeks. 

Plus I REALLY want to spice up my wardrobe a bit as it feels like I didn't buy anything over the last 18 months due to covid restrictions and not really going anywhere. But I have the shopping bug back in me and I don't want to buy a bigger size. 

So as of today - my first WI day for post summer fun is 173.5. 

I don't love it, but I do love that I'm down 3.8 from Monday! Been drinking a ton of water, cut out sugary items and carbs. Also not snacking in between meals. 

Let's do this!!! AGAIN. 

September

I love September and I hate September. 

I love the change in the weather to lovely warm days and cool evenings. But I always tend to get the September Blues along with it. 

I think I'm ready this time though. As much as I don't like the shorter days that comes along with fall, I do like the coziness of being home, watching a good movie/show/sporting event with the family. 

I'm hoping with the turn of the calendar I will also see a turn of myself back into some sort of regular routine. 

I have been doing better with my eating since last week. 

WI this morning was not as good as I expected but it was down.  I was 172.2 this morning. 

I've been good this week. Much less snacking than usual and a lot less carbs.  They are still creeping in but I've been much better and I'm proud of myself. 

This week is a true test on how much I am on track and whether I'll blow it or not. 

Tomorrow is our anniversary. We are going out for dinner and then we are off on holidays from Friday to the following Friday. 

Let's hope we can hold our shit together! :)