Cold or Allergies?

I've been under the weather this week. At first I thought it was allergies, but now I'm starting to think it's a cold.  Not too bad but I do seem to be dragging my butt more than usual.  No workouts yet this week and I've been in bed by 8pm each night. 

Today, I am feeling more energy so far, but not going to push it by doing a workout. If I feel even better tomorrow, I'll get one in. 

It's my birthday on Friday (53!!!) Ugh. Where has the time gone?  Dare I say, I feel 42? I mean, I do.  I hope that I can feel 53 when I'm 65! 

Recently took up pickleball. All the friends seem to be doing it, so thought, what the hell!?  I've been avoiding it because I never enjoyed playing tennis, but I have to admit, pickleball is fun.  Need to try and get out a bit more often to practice. 

A couple small trips planned this summer. We are going to the okanagan for our annual bike trip with friends. Have rented an airbnb on the beach so it should be a nice break. And then we are flying to Quebec in July with some other friends. Spending a week touring through Quebec City and then Montreal for a few days. Looking forward to it! 

So, I have a vacation goal. I would like to get down to 175 by my Quebec trip. I'd actually be happy anywhere in the 170s but mid mark would be great. 

This sickness that I'm experiencing right now has set my hunger on the back burner. I'm just not hungry so I'm going to take advantage of that and hopefully kick start me into eating more controlled meals and not snacking all the time, as I know it's the snacking that really kills me! 

Just over 2 months to lose 14 lbs. Doable.... but going to be a challenge for sure. 

Still here and still fat!

I can't believe my last post was in November. 

I have had literally nothing to report or write about so I've been avoiding.  My weight is the same and maybe even a bit higher than it was before. Lovely. 

I'm just sick of being fat 

But I don't know what to do about it. I try and I do well for a few days and then I fail and become a prisoner to crap food and crap drinks. 

Maybe, just maybe something can change if I admit it on here. I've never had many readers out there for  this oh so "not interesting blog",  but if there is someone out there that wants to be an accountability partner for me, I'd love it.  

Although in all honesty, I don't even know what I want to be accountable for. Maybe my food? Maybe my exercise?... I don't know... any suggestions?  

I know a few things:

I need to drink more water

I need to eat less calories

I need to move more and more intensely 

It's just so much harder now that I'm in menopause.  Let me know how you have been doing and what's been working or not working for you!  Share your successes. Maybe I can hop on your bandwagon and we can ride this journey together. 

A few improvements

 It's been a few weeks since I posted and I am happy to say that things seem to be improving. Not on track every single day, but better than I was. 

I did really well at tracking my food that first week, but as soon as the weekend came, I forgot to track and haven't really tracked since. I hope to get back to that on a regular basis because it's the tracking that really wakes me up to the reality of what I'm eating during the day.  I tend to forget about the cracker here, piece of cheese there.  Weekends are hard and I'm not going to beat myself up about the fact that I don't track on the weekends right now. If I can be better during the week, that's a plus and maybe the habit will wear into the weekends too. My snacking has been under control for the most part, but when I track I don't tend to track at all so tracking needs to be a goal.  

Exercise has been good. I'm trying to ride the bike a minimum of 3 times as week and I also do my stretching 4-5 times a week. 

We haven't been socializing as much lately which also keeps the social wine here and there at a minimum. 

I started checking my blood pressure again and it's been looking good.  Hopefully sometime in the new year it will start really dropping and I can request a reduction in my medication. 

The sciatica pain that I had a month or so ago is all but gone. I can feel it creep in once and awhile but nothing like it was.  The stretching definitely helped that pain so I need to keep that up. 

One oddity is that after 8 months of no period, I had 2 days of very very light spotting. Nothing that I would have even cared about before but found it odd after so long. I made a note of it. 

Weight was down to 185.5 this morning. It was 189.6 at last post so I'm very happy with that. It has been yoyoing around a bit, but this was the lowest that it's been in a long time. If I can break down into the low 180s then hopefully it won't be long until I see the 170s again. My goal! 

Do the graphics make it more real?

I've been bitchin' and moanin' about my weight pretty much all summer. It's going up, what am I going to do? I'm going to get serious blah blah blah. 

Yet another week/weekend goes by where I start really well, the exercise is improving, but I know that it's the kitchen where the weight loss happens. I am good during the day when nobody is here but when everyone gets home from work, that's when it all blows up. Makes no sense, right?  I'm not the type of person that sits and snacks in a closet away from the judgement eyes. No. I'm the type that eats right in front of you, along with everyone else.  It's when they get home from work and want a snack that I join right in with them. 

Yesterday I tracked my lunch and I was sitting in a good position. Dinner was already planned to be some broccoli/cheese soup and a small salad with chicken. Which we did have.   And if I had only had that, my numbers would have been great and I could have been proud for the day. But instead... 

Here's a snapshot of my food yesterday. I had entered my lunch (first meal for the day) and then stopped. I entered the remaining food that I ate, this morning and above are the results. I overate again.  And what did I overeat on? Carbs... I snacked with my son when he got home from work. I ate pita chips and hummus and after dinner I ate regular sugar yogurt.  So nothing terrible at all, but out of plan and the little nips here and there are what throw me over my numbers and what is in the end, causing my weight gain. 

It's the damn snacking. I have to stop. 

I weighed in this morning and it was so much higher than my last weigh in that the app actually asked me if it was correct? Said that my new weight was considerable different from my last weigh in and did I still want to save the number! 

When I went in to show the graphic of my weight fluctuations?? It's not drastic, I know. It's a change of a little over 10 lbs, but it's the fact that it is just going up, up, up.. Over 12 months, this is what my weight has done.  I had control for a while and it was on it's way down and since the trip to Hawaii, it's been slowly creeping up. If I don't get a handle of it soon, it will keep heading in the wrong direction. 

I know I have to get serious. I know it's habits and I will break out of them. I'm hoping that looking at a few graphics that truly tell the story, will help me move forward in the right direction, because what I'm doing now, is not working. 

The Dreaded Sweats

It's been a while since I posted because there has been nothing to report.  I know in the back of my mind that this blog is for myself and to keep myself accountable so I need to be better about keeping it current. 

Here is my current. I have lost nothing, in fact I have gained. I saw 191 on the scale on sunday night and just about broke down and cried. 

Back in the spring I had worked hard to get in the mid 170s and I was proud of myself. I did the work to go on a spring holiday with the family. We went on the vacation and bam.. the weight just started to pile on during the months that followed. 

I don't think I've been terrible with my eating and although I'm not exercising daily, I have been doing my usual 3 days of cardio/strength a week. Things have not changed. 

Here's the thing.... my last period was April 5th! I've been on the slow train to menopause. It's been 194 days since my last period. So although I haven't done anything drastic food or exercise wise to account for the now 15 lb weight gain, I think I need to come to the realization that the perimenopause/menopause that is happening in my body is likely attributing to the gain and I need to adjust my way of thinking and acting. 

What used to work, is just not going to work any more. 

The last 2 months I have really seen a change in my body, both inside and outside.  The weight I'm sure is a big factor but I think the hormones are also creating a new me that I need to adjust to. 

My body aches more than it used to. I know if I sit on the couch or chair for too long and get up, I'm stiff. It's even gotten to the point where my son asked me why I was limping. 

I wake up multiple times in the night - usually 2 but can be up to 4 times a night with night sweats. 

I get flashes during the day. Nothing terrible and they seem to only last for 20-30 seconds or so but they are there. So much so that I don't think I will be able to wear sweaters this fall. Maybe a cardigan but I'm worried about being a walking oven and not having the ability to easily delayer. 

I've struggled with bad sciatica pain the last few months. Not in my glute but in my calf just below knee. I finally went to the chiropractor and she managed to work out a bad kink in my buttocks. It feels much better but when I sit for too long without moving or stretching, the pain starts to creep back in. 

So the old changes that worked so well for me, just don't work any longer. I need to find the new things that will work to keep this body moving and grooving into old age. 

First things first is that I have to get this weight off. It means I need to get back to tracking my food so I know where I am with calories.  I'm also going to focus on eating more protein as I know that I need more protein to help strengthen and build my muscles. 

Another thing I've started doing, mainly because of the sciatica pain, is to stretch daily. 15-20 minutes. It's been so helpful. My body is so tight but I have seen some improvement in just a week of stretching daily. 

Lastly, I need to reduce my alcohol intake. I don't drink a ton but on the weekend I really do enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a cocktail before dinner. It's just been part of my life for so long and it's just what we do when we go out with friends or have dinner parties. But I'm noticing that my sleep is much better on nights where I don't drink anything.  So I will need to make an effort of reducing my glasses of wine. 

So here's to getting old. *raising my glass of water*

Summer Struggles and Fall Hopes

I struggle every single summer. We socialize multiple nights of the week and most of the socializing involves food and drink. 

This summer has been no exception. It's been a great summer, but I'm feeling done with it.  We have one more bout of vacation coming up at the end of August, but I'm seriously considering giving it back. I do like the one last week to enjoy the summer before the cold and rain creeps in and everything gets dark and gloomy and if I was on track with food and exercise, I would welcome the vacation with open arms. But I'm just not there, at least right now. 

Today I'm back to work and routine after being off for 10 days. 10 days of great times, but lots of food and drinks and other than our casual biking with friends, ZERO exercise.  Our 10 days off included BBQ picnic at the local farm, dinners out with friends, 80 mile bike ride through Washington on the centennial bike trail, another 60 Mile bike ride to Victoria, BC with a lavish stay at the Oak Bay Beach Hotel and Spa, a few days of Golf and lots of visits with friends and family. 

I woke up today and felt a small fire burning under my butt. I checked my emails and then hopped on the bike for a quick 20 minute ride. A very slow, effortless ride, but 20 minutes regardless. Then I did a quick 30 minute upper body strength sesh and then a 20 minute very lax walk with the pups.  It felt GOOD! 

Not sure how I will feel tomorrow, both physically and mentally but the endorphins were endorphing today and I loved how it felt. 

Stepped on the scale too... 186.5. 

Gotta start somewhere right?! 

We continue...

I'm still struggling with my weight. It does not seem to be creeping up any longer but it's not dropping either.  It will drop a lb or 2 and then go up again. 

I'm still bloated, not in the same way that I was a few weeks back but I'm noticing much more "gas" than usual. I think I need to try dropping dairy to see if that improves things at all. 

I've also been tracking my blood pressure and it's been higher the last few weeks than before and I know that is because of the weight gain. 

I had been switching to weight training from cardio but I think I need to add the cardio back in. So instead of doing 3 strength training and 1 cardio a week I'm going to switch it and do 3 cardio and hopefully 1 to 2 strength a week.  

Still no period - I'm at 94 days now since my last one and I have been feeling PMS type symptoms for sure but nothing ever comes about. At this point, I hope I don't get another one and this is my entry into full menopause. The doctor says I have to be 1 year with no period to be considered in menopause. I had 5 cycles last  year so I know they are slowing down, but who knows if the last one that I had will be the official last one. 

It's been hot here as well. Today is 30 feels like 35 (86 feeling like 95 for those not in the Celsius world) I know it's not the crazy hot that those that live in the hot states and countries, but we don't have central air so anything above 22 (68) is hell in this house.  We do have air conditioners in our bedrooms so we can sleep at night comfortably. Don't really have the energy to get much done but hopefully the heat wave will only last a few days. 

That's it... keeping at it. SIGH