We continue...

I'm still struggling with my weight. It does not seem to be creeping up any longer but it's not dropping either.  It will drop a lb or 2 and then go up again. 

I'm still bloated, not in the same way that I was a few weeks back but I'm noticing much more "gas" than usual. I think I need to try dropping dairy to see if that improves things at all. 

I've also been tracking my blood pressure and it's been higher the last few weeks than before and I know that is because of the weight gain. 

I had been switching to weight training from cardio but I think I need to add the cardio back in. So instead of doing 3 strength training and 1 cardio a week I'm going to switch it and do 3 cardio and hopefully 1 to 2 strength a week.  

Still no period - I'm at 94 days now since my last one and I have been feeling PMS type symptoms for sure but nothing ever comes about. At this point, I hope I don't get another one and this is my entry into full menopause. The doctor says I have to be 1 year with no period to be considered in menopause. I had 5 cycles last  year so I know they are slowing down, but who knows if the last one that I had will be the official last one. 

It's been hot here as well. Today is 30 feels like 35 (86 feeling like 95 for those not in the Celsius world) I know it's not the crazy hot that those that live in the hot states and countries, but we don't have central air so anything above 22 (68) is hell in this house.  We do have air conditioners in our bedrooms so we can sleep at night comfortably. Don't really have the energy to get much done but hopefully the heat wave will only last a few days. 

That's it... keeping at it. SIGH

Getting Deeper

The Rut is getting deeper. 

I don't get it. I've reigned in the snacking. I've drastically reduced my carbs and I'm drinking more water. 

I've been tracking my weight daily and my weight keeps climbing. Well it started to drop last week and then started to rise again. 

UGH. 

I'm getting very discouraged. 

It's been 73 days since my last period so I don't know if my body is holding onto weight for that reason or if something else is going on. Maybe it's hormonal? 

I've been bloated. Like soooo soooo bloated. It's been going on for a few weeks and it's even been painful at times. I have started taking magnesium at night which seems to have had a bit of improvement but I still feel so puffy. 

I'm going to keep going because what other choice do I have? Hoping to see some sort of loss next week. 

Rut

A rut. That is what I'm in. 

I will make better choices, better decisions for a day and then I'm right back into doing things and eating things that I know I should not. Things that I can't do or eat as I know they are not part of the plan to better "ME"

I've been struggling to get back into a rhythm since returning from vacation. First it was a bunch of birthday parties/celebrations, then mothers day, then my birthday and now father's day is upon us. I just can't keep making bad decisions during these celebrations. I need to reel it in and NOW!

Here is weird thing that I have discovered about myself.  I find that once I reach a GOAL, I tend to release the pressure and in a way, give up. I do this both physically and mentally. The first time  that I can recall doing this was during my eldest son's graduation from high school. I worked super hard to lose a bunch of weight, it happened, grad happened, we celebrated and then I could not get back into good habits. 

Then it happened again a few years ago when I started eating low carb and exercising, I lost the weight, got down to the 170s where I wanted so desperately to be and then the weight started creeping up. Not drastically, but I could not get down again to where I was when I met my "goal". 

And now, in April, my goal was to get ready for Hawaii and even though I did not get exactly where I wanted to, I was in a good pattern and making good habits and then the "goal" of hawaii passed and I am back where I usually am, giving up.  

It really makes me not want to set goals. But how else do we measure success? If its not on a scale or a size of clothing, how do we know we are doing the right things? 

As of yesterday I was back to 185. I haven't been doing anything crazy with my eating or drinking etc, but it's the little things that just add up. It's also me not taking accountability. Before I went to Hawaii I would weigh in daily and I kept track of my weight on a spreadsheet. I would see the ups and downs and it kept me accountable. I now weigh myself maybe every 3 or 4 days. When I saw the 185 yesterday morning, I almost threw up. I was 176 on the day we left for Hawaii so I'm almost 10 lbs up in just over a month. 

So goals have to be in my future and I need to learn to reach them and push on through them. I am not usually one for setting number goals like desired lbs to drop, so I have to set action goals. 

My first goal is to weigh in and track my weight each day this week. I need to get back on track with the accountability. 

I have to return to no snacking after work. I know that one is biting me in the butt by adding a bunch of unnecessary calories that are ending up my body and on the scale.  

I also find that when I don't post here, I don't do as well. It's my way to be accountable to myself and anyone that cares to have a read once and awhile. Somehow, writing it down, makes it that much more real. 

It's almost the summer. We socialize a lot more with friends and family in the summer and most of that socialization is with food/drink. I need to get a handle on it now so that my weight does not spiral out of control in the summer. 

I can do this... I've done it before. Time for another reset. 

Let's Right the Wrongs

All honesty here...

Since we have returned from vacation, I have not reverted my diet from vacation diet to home diet. Well I started to in the first few days, but since then, we have had a few birthday celebrations and mother's day  just this past weekend and the food has been flowing! It's just time to get things back to normal! 

I think intermittent fasting is a good way to get things back on track. That and adding more exercise back to the plan. 

So plan this week is to work out at least 3 times and to try to get my 16 hours of intermittent fasting each day. 

Oh and the boys bought me a Creami for mother's day. YAY, cause ice cream!! but NOOOOO cause Ice Cream! I know there are lots of healthy options out there, I will just have to search them out! 

And more WATER! My skin has been suffering a bit the last few months and I know it's because I'm not drinking enough water. So need to start getting more glasses/carafes of water into my body. 

Off to do a workout now...

April Update

It's been awhile and I know I didn't provide an end of March update. Nothing much to report. 

Even April has not much to report but I figured it's time to add a post, as I know my actions regarding weight loss and healthy habits is better when I post. 

We just returned from Hawaii. The vacation was amazing. It was the best time with the family and I'm already getting ready to plan a return visit! 

We did some great activities - goat yoga, hiking, rented mopeds and lots of walks. When the boys golfed, the girls relaxed on the beach! And we ATE. So much good food. The fruit, the freshly caught fish... all amazing! 

The morning we left Vancouver, my weight was 176.6 and on return it was 180.6. I'm pleasantly surprised with that and I'll take it! 

Back to eating better and drinking water instead of Mai Tais!  Such an amazing trip. 

Onto the next one...  

Accountability

I've been off track this week. Not crazy off track, but enough that I'm starting to feel the pull back to the other side. The side of bad eating choices, no exercise, not taking care of myself properly. 

This post is for my accountability.  

We celebrated a close friend's birthday mid week which threw me off plan. We went out for dinner, which was a set menu and the choices were not great, but I did the best I could. I had planned before I left that I would only have soda water, but I caved. I had the wine. I had the dessert. I'm not proud but I have to be real with myself that this will happen and I need to deal with it and then get back on track. 

The problem is that I didn't. 

I didn't exercise yesterday and I had another unplanned, unhealthy meal last night. So it's Friday, which is usually my "splurge" night, but I'm going to stick to being good and forego the planned glass of wine at the pub tonight. It's soda water and a salad :).   Friday, after all is just another day in the week. My Friday was already had, on Wednesday! 

I'm exercising today too... and tomorrow! Just over a month until Hawaii! 

Springing into Spring

Last month was another success. I managed to lose 2.6 lbs which originally I was not happy about, but when I stopped and thought about it, I realized that the loss was 1/2 a lb a week, which is amazing for me. I also did not have the usual yo-yoing of losing 2, going up 2, losing 2, going up 3 etc. 

Yes, my body did ups and downs but they were more controlled and overall, the number was on the decline. 

This is what my WI app looked liked at the end of the month so yes, ups and downs, but trend was DOWN!  On Feb 29th I was 178.6 so IN the 170s!!  I'm over the wall., now onto the next wall!  

My exercise has continued. I have reduced my strength training to 3 or 4 days a week rather than 5 so I can add in more rides/walks. All seems good so far. 

That is all the good. Here is the bad. I found out on Monday, that our family doctor has had to retire due to medical reasons and now our entire family is orphaned. We have NO family doctor. I had this family doctor for over 40 years.  There is no doctor to buy the practice and there are no doctors available to take us on.  I'm terrified and angry. Our Canadian medical system sucks. Yes, it's free, but there are 700,000 people in my province alone that do not have a doctor. I'm now on a list with 400,000 other residents trying to find a family doctor. On top of that, the 3 walk-in clinics that we had in our town have converted to full practices and they are no longer seeing walk-ins unless you are a registered patient with them. This just sucks. I've been very upset about the entire thing all week but I can't make myself sick about it, because I don't have a doctor to help me with stress/sickness. 

Sigh... so all the more reason to keep on this fight for my health.