Ending 2020

I had hoped that I would be floating into December in the 170s and would be able to "relax" a bit over the holidays. Well november turned out to be a bust. 

All in all I lost about 1.4 lbs in November.  I lost, I gained I lost and then I gained again. 

What a waste of a month.  What a waste of a year!

I was so upset when I stood on the scale this morning and it said I was 181.2. Back in the 180s, where I truly hoped I would not see again. Once I hit the 170s a few weeks ago, I was so sure that I would stay there for awhile, hoping to maybe see the 160s in january. Now I'm just far behind again. 

I was upset because I was sure I was doing things right. I kept my carbs low. I have not been eating out of the chocolate bowl that has been taunting me for the last few weeks. I have been good. 

But I have not been tracking - because in my mind, I did not need to anymore. I know what I'm doing. I've been eating this way for years. I don't need to track, it's a waste of time and not needed. 

I told myself that if my weight was up this morning - and I expected it would be because when I looked last night it was up. BTW- My weight is always about 2 lbs heavier when I go to bed from when I wake up. And last night I weighed 183.6 when I went to bed.  So anyways, I told myself that if my weight was above 180, I would have to start tracking again. 

So it was higher and therefore I have started tracking again. 

I entered my food in from yesterday and guess what?  I had about 1800 calories and about 75 net carbs. To lose weight I have to be in the 1200-1300 range of calories and under 50 net carbs. So apparently I do need to track. 

I REALLY REALLY want to lose this weight as it feels like I'm in a hamster wheel going round and round with the losing and gaining of the same 5 lbs. 

Tracking starts today! For reals...... Hoping to end 2020 with some success! 

Tomorrow will still be official WI.