A little bad/ a little good

Well it's been awhile since I wrote anything and surprisingly, it's not because I had nothing to write, I just haven't sat down and put everything together. 

First off, my weight is the same, my skin is the same... I'm the same as I was mid february. I have cut out some things from my diet, but it's going to be a journey. When I lost my weight some 4 years ago, I was just younger and things were easier. Maybe because I had been so big and then losing the weight just came easy cause my body was happy. Now I'm older... and my body is just happy it seems at this size. I know I want to be lower, even 10-15 lbs at this point would make me much happier, but it's going to take some work. More work than before it would seem. 

A couple good things and a couple bad things happened over the last month. I'll try to sum em up 

On Feb 28th, I had what I'll call "an episode". I was going through my day like any other day.  It was approx. 12:30 and I had just finished a call with work and realized I hadn't had lunch yet.  I made a quick egg salad sandwich, but also noted that I felt a little "off".  A little dizzy... nothing crazy and had some chest pains. I figured I was just hungry.  

So I ate and about an hour later, I felt worse. I had a stabbing pain in the left side of my chest and my left arm was tingling from shoulder to fingertips. I've had this before and it's passed after a few minutes. I had some electrolytes because low minerals comes out in me with chest pain and numbness. It didn't help and I started to really worry. Of course I checked out Dr Google, even though I knew that all symptoms pointed to heart.. I called my husband and he rushed home. When he got home I felt ok. Had a little nap on the couch and felt good. I started to wonder if it was anxiety.  Then it returned about 20 minutes later. The pain was not as bad but it was there. Hubby said... "we are going to emerg"... so off we went. 

A quick note that I have severe "white coat hypertension" so I knew as soon as I got to the hospital that my bp would be screaming (220/150).  By the time I walked into emergency and was triaged, it took about 10 minutes for them to get me into a bed,  hook me up with all sorts of wires, take my blood and  set an IV. I had 2 doctors, 2 nurses a blood tech and someone else in the room. It was all a blur. Oddly, by then the pain was very very light. Barely noticeable. But I was there so might as well make the best of it. 

Long story short. My heart was OK dokie. My potassium was low which was causing the numbness and the pain in my chest.  They gave me my BP meds, potassium, did a bunch of heart marker tests and monitored me for 4 hours. I did have a higher than normal WBC so they discharged me with instructions for a follow up stress test to ensure that there was no inflammation around my heart. 

A few days later, I returned to the same hospital but this time for a routine mammogram. Deep down I knew I was going to get a callback. I always do but I really hoped that maybe, just maybe this time I would be cleared. Nope... call back a week later.  I went back to the hospital for my callback mammogram and ultrasound. The mammogram technician was great, she showed me exactly on my film the area of concern. It was a small pea sized dot. Very different from the other blobs (cysts) that I typically had.  Panic set in.  I was taken to my ultrasound room with a male technician. I don't really care male or female but in all the past ultrasounds that I have had, I know that female techs are much more forthcoming with results (even though they shouldn't be). So he gave me nothing. Scanned the boob for approximately 2 minutes, left the room for about 4, came back in and told me I could leave and I would get my results in about a week. Seriously?!?? 

Well good news I guess is I haven't heard from my doctor so I'm just waiting for my letter from the government to tell me I'm good. Hopefully that comes soon. 

Yesterday, I went for my follow up stress test!!! So same shit, white coat hypertension... BP was high, tech was worried... Had me walk on treadmill for about 9 minutes and then stopped the test. I could have done way more but they just stopped it.  Met with cardiologist after the test and he said my results were great.... normal. No problems that he could see. 

So there are a couple bad with a couple good rolled into the above. But here are the two REALLY good things that are happening:

1) during my stress test yesterday I realized how much I miss going to the gym and working out. During the pandemic, our gyms closed and I have never returned. The main reason I haven't returned is because I have no way of getting there!! I used to have a car which I solely used to drive to/from the gym. I never used it outside of that, so during the pandemic I got rid of it. It was literally just sitting in my driveway taking up space. I never replaced it because I just didn't need it. I had cancelled my gym membership and I didn't see the point of buying another car, insuring it just to go the gym. I could go the gym when my husband gets home from work, but honestly it's just too late. I want to workout right after work and be done by 4 so I can get dinner ready etc. Waiting for a car, just isn't convenient. 

So this morning, I bought myself  (and the rest of the family) a Peloton! I'm sooooo excited. I have wanted one for years. It arrives on sunday!! 

2) We have not been on a decent vacation in years. We go away with the family every year, but sometimes that just feels like being home, but in a different home because I still cook every day and do the dog walk thing etc. So after my "episode" I decided to book a vacation, just for me and the hubs.  At the end of April we are going to California! Orange County to visit my brother for a few days and then we are heading to Temecula to spa and drink wine and just be lazy!!! 

I am going to make this year about me. In January I enrolled into a VIP spa program where I pay a monthly amount to a local spa which forces me to go in and get treatments etc. It's been so wonderful to "treat" myself while taking care of my skin too! 

Even though the heart episode that I had last month resulted in no terrible health news, it also woke me up that I really really need to increase my heart health. I'm getting older, I need to get control now. 

And it's just time to do something different. Yeah, it's going to be expensive to travel to california and stay in expensive spa resorts, but who cares??? In addition to taking care of our bodies, we gotta take care of our mind and soul too!