It's been awhile and I've been BUSY!!! Like new mom busy! Like new mom TIRED!!!
This is Henry
Atmospheric River? What's that?
According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration page
"Atmospheric rivers are relatively long, narrow regions in the atmosphere – like rivers in the sky – that transport most of the water vapor outside of the tropics. These columns of vapor move with the weather, carrying an amount of water vapor roughly equivalent to the average flow of water at the mouth of the Mississippi River. When the atmospheric rivers make landfall, they often release this water vapor in the form of rain or snow."
So who cares? Well, we were hit with one this past weekend. We saw an insane amount of rain.
295 millimeters of rain in 2 days. That's 11 inches of rain. In 2 DAYS!!
So who cares? Vancouver and Metro Vancouver is known for their rain. True. But the amounts, plus the snow run off the mountains and the rising rivers caused this:
The only way we can get to the rest of Canada is via the US. Every major highway that allows us to exit the lower mainland is closed. No idea when it will reopen.
This is all following a summer of the highest temperatures we have ever seen on record in our province and city.
UGH.... our future is doomed. This is just the beginning of what mother nature is doing to us for not taking care of her world.
Just a quick update.
I seem to have recovered from my fall last week. My bruise is almost gone and in all honesty, my shoulder feels so much better. I've been doing some small exercises here and there and it seems to be helping.
We went out with friends on saturday. We went for a bike ride to a local brewery and then rode our bikes to the pub and had a few drinks and dinner. It was nice to get out and ride (although super cold) and see friends. Was the first alcoholic drink I had had since Thanksgiving but I kept it small. Did not have anything on Friday either so just one day of the weekend. Didn't quite make it the full month of October, but I think I did well. Didn't lose a ton of weight but also didn't snack as much at night time. So... win.
My weight has been pretty much staying lower the last few weeks. I have been forgetting to record my weight on my app before I get dressed in the morning and I even forgot to step on the scale yesterday for WI day. oops. So I did today as my WI day. My weight was 170.6 so down just over 1/2 a lb from last week (171.3). I'm good with that. Inching ever so closer to the 160s again!
Making some minor changes in my diet this week. I've added apple cider vinegar to my morning and evening (before bed) as I want to be better at regulating my blood sugar. I've tested my blood sugar a few times and it's inching up again. I know it's likely due to halloween candy so I have cut out all the halloween candy and added the ACV to hopefully bring it down and regulate it a bit better.
That's it for now. It's cold and rainy today (all week).
Oh yeah... and we are getting a puppy!!! Saw a post that our breeder had a litter (9 black labs) a few weeks back. I figured I'd send her a message and if she had one available, great, if not, that was fine too! Well she just had a cancellation so we will be welcoming a new member into the home on November 26th!!!
Not sure how Murphy will accept him. Murph's a cranky 7 year old lab that likes to be king of his castle. A new baby will interrupt his life for sure.
Now we are just thinking of a name. Henry? Hank? Wally?
Might need to meet him first to finalize a name. :)
So Monday night is normally wash my hair night. As my shoulder has been bugging me the past few weeks, blow drying my hair has been a challenge and this monday was no exception. I took a couple advil after my hair drying, watched some tv, read a book and went to bed. I have been sleeping on my right side (I'm a side sleeper) as my left shoulder/arm has been bugging me. I woke up about 4 am and had to go pee. I also sleep with ear plugs just cause I like to block out ALL noises when I sleep. While still lying on my right side I pulled out my ear plugs from both ears with my left had and extended my arm over to the bed side table to put the earplugs down while I visited the bathroom. Well... something popped and OMG the pain. I thought my shoulder was being pulled from my body.
I got up to walk to the bathroom and immediately got dizzy, intense cold sweats and could not walk. I fell to the floor gripping for the bed in pain. My husband woke up and asked me what was wrong and I told him my shoulder. He ran downstairs to get me some ice.
I've never dislocated my shoulder before but this is the type of pain that I imagine it feels like. I tried to see if it was drooping from my body like I've seen in shows and movies but it seemed to be in the right place. I pushed gently on it and the pain did not subside.
Here is where it gets dodgy. I somehow made it into the bathroom and as I was still sweating to death I wanted to lay on the cold tile. I felt so much better. My husband came into the bathroom and helped me to the toilet to pee.
To add to the drama, it appeared that I had also started my period. And it was HEAVY. Like day 2 type of heavy. I could not believe it. No warning, nothing. So hubby excused himself from the bathroom as he can't be around feminine products.
I then looked down at my toe and it was all RED. WTF? I did not have my glasses on but I could also see small splotches of what looked like blood on the bathroom tile. Maybe 3 or so smudges. Not drops. I asked hubby to grab my glasses as I thought maybe something was wrong with my toe.
Well it appears I had managed to RIP about 2/3 of my big toe nail off my left foot. And it was bleeding, badly. I don't remember kicking anything or banging it on anything. How strange. I cleaned up the splotches on the floor and hubby said he would bandage up my toe for me.
I sat on the edge of the tub while he bandaged up my foot. I was looking in the mirror and saw a red mark on my cheek. WTH now??
I had a large mark on my left cheek and above my eyebrow and it looked like a bump was starting to form about my eyebrow.
Did I faint? Pass out? I must have. Somehow somewhere from moving from the side of the bed to the bathroom floor I passed out. Banged my head and ripped off my toenail.
I now sit here with a black eye, a bruised arm and a messed up toe. IT was an eventful monday night.
My guess is that it was just a perfect storm. The pain in my shoulder, along with getting out of bed so quickly and my extremely heavy period that caused me to drop.
Needless to say, I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. I'm feeling fine. No headaches, or anything like that. Oddly, my arm feels so much better too. But my face?? That's a different story. Fun times!
Scale thankfully was still down this morning. Not as much as I would have liked but I'll take it. 171.3
It's been a long week. Been fighting a cold since last Saturday and have felt run down most days. I wake up with a cough but that seems to settle/go away after I'm up for a few hours. Pretty sure it's nasal nastiness settling over the night. I have a wicked nasty gag reflux so it's difficult for me to expel of such nastiness. I know.. TMI!
I am sick of feeling sick though. But on the bright side, I have been feeling a bit better each and every day but it's been a long week or so.
The hubs has been the exact same. His cough is a bit worse than mine but still completely manageable. We have kept inside for the most part other than to get a few groceries done on Saturday.
The sickness has at least kept my food in order. I have been drinking vitamin C drinks in the morning which have sugar in them and having a few Halloween candies after dinner, but otherwise I've been pretty good.
My weight was down this weekend. Probably due to the face that I have not had any wine/alcohol for the month but also less food with this cold.
Have to dream up some food for dinner. I have to admit, I hate coming up with a meal every night to feed the family. Especially, when I'm not hungry myself.
Hoping this cold continues to make it's exit from my body and that the low weight continues on the scale!
We survived Thanksgiving.
Food was lovely. Was great to see family and we survived the MIL!
I ignored the MIL for a good part of the evening. I was visiting with my sister anyways, whom I have not seen since my dad's funeral, so I had a good excuse. At the end of the evening the MIL managed to wedge her way into our conversation. I had earlier informed my sister of the MIL's issues and our challenges with her. My sister is a counsellor and she has offered on many occasions to talk to the MIL but I know the MIL will just reject any possible counselling, even if it is from "family".
Well, she butted in the conversation so she ended up getting a bit of counselling! Not about the abuse that she is putting on her body but more about her loneliness and grief and the fact that she has NEVER mourned the passing of her husband some 11 years ago. She still blames him for dying. That's stage 2 of grief, isn't it? They chatted for a bit of time and I just sat and listened and heard the same responses of, "I'm fine, All is good". She then abruptly got up and left. We haven't heard from her since.
My BIL and his family (hubby's brother) has offered for the MIL to come up and live with them for a few months. Great, right? Well not really. The BIL lives about 800 KM away from us, on a ranch and is about a 25 minute drive from the nearest town. And it snows there. A lot. Both he and his wife work during the day and the kids go to school so even though he does a few days working from home, there will be many long days for the MIL to just sit and stew.
That's a long time for someone that is not in their comforts of home to be alone. She will be unable to drink (that's a good thing) as she will have no way to go and buy it and they won't buy it for her. She will be cranky and mean from being all alone all day and not having her vices.
My hubby talked to his brother and asked him to reconsider his offer. He said for the sake of his marriage and sanity, to either reduce the invited stay to a much shorter period (maybe 10 days) or do it during the holidays when they are all home. Still to be determined what will come of that. I will also mention that BIL's wife dislikes MIL more than I do. I ignore her but she actually argues with her. It's not a good idea.
I'm just thankful, that we made it through Thanksgiving!
Now gotta start thinking about Christmas.
Oh, and I did succumb to 2 glasses of wine on Saturday at dinner but that was it. Nothing friday even when we went out for dinner with friends! My weight is up this week so really that's unfortunate. But I did have pie at dinner on saturday and sunday.
This weekend we will celebrate Thanksgiving - the Canadian version at least.
This will be my first thanksgiving as an orphan - no momma and no poppa to celebrate with me. It's been almost 25 years since my mom past away but with dad leaving us this past January, it will be a hard few months with thanksgiving and then Christmas.
I love the holidays. I love having the boys home with their girlfriends and this year with Covid restrictions lifted my sister and her family can join us as well. We are going to keep it casual with regards to food and just have Lasagna (courtesy of a local Italian restaurant) and salad. We will gab and laugh, watch some hockey and just have a good night.
Oh and the MIL is coming too. God help us. Don't get me wrong, I've tried, tried really really hard to like that woman but I don't. I can't. I won't. She's tried for 25 years to form a relationship with me, but I have avoided and refused it at all costs. I'm not sure if it's the fact that my mom is no longer here and I don't want a replacement or if I just don't like her. I'm pretty sure it's the latter.
The kicker is this - she's getting older and she's not taking care of herself at all. She has let her health go downhill the last few years and especially with Covid. My hubby rarely sees her and whenever he calls her, she's drunk. Now, this used to be a woman that always dressed nicely, kept her house super clean and saw her friends on a regular basis. Now she sits at home in her own filth, drinks all day and rarely sees anyone.
We've talked to her about getting help as she's clearly depressed but she denies it all and tells us she's fine. Her house smells like cat pee and her fridge is empty. My husband took her to a retirement home last week. One where you can start off unassisted but then move into assisted living if needed. She faked her way through the tour and oohed and aahed the entire time and then when they left she said it was nice but she's not yet ready for that. We believe she said that because she can't smoke there and they will limit her alcohol consumption.
I'm embarrassed for my husband who is embarrassed for his mom. I also feel guilt in that we are not doing more, but something about her is preventing me from wanting to help her. I'm not sure what it is. It might be that she doesn't want our help, so why bother. Or maybe it's just cause I really don't care for her and that when she rubbed me the wrong way 30 some years ago, I've just never quite gotten over it.
Regardless of what it is, she will be coming to my house on Saturday with her gossipy ways and her piss-filled Depends and I will be dreading the fact that I picked October to give up the wine!
So Happy Canadian Thanksgiving y'all. Wish me luck!
Slowly getting back to where I was in July... slooowwwwly. But maybe it'll stick for longer this time.
WI this morning was 172.4 :) Down from 174.2 last week (-1.8). So closer to the wall than before but still not over it.
I'm going to try the no alcohol thing again for a bit. I don't drink a ton but I know when I have a glass or two or three of wine on the weekend it does slow my metabolism and it also makes me super snackie.
We have a football party to go to on Sunday so after that I'm calling it quits. Hopefully for the month. Sober October!! :)
Not setting a "goal" for myself this coming month other than the alcohol thing so hopefully everything just falls into place with that one goal and the weight melts away. Ha Ha...
It is also Halloween so I'm sure there will be a box or two or three of candy coming into the house as well so that will be a temptation I will have to work through. Maybe I'll just buy black licorice and candy corn. Maybe that will stop my snacking!
Here's to turning over the somberness of September and fully embracing Fall and all it has to offer! Sweaters, boots and sparkling water!
I'm up from last week. 174.2
But all in all I think I had a better week. I was more conscious about what I was putting in my mouth and sometimes it was bad but for the most part I did much better.
Yesterday was Taco Tuesday so I know my sodium levels were up a bit which might account for a higher weight this morning but I think it's actually pretty accurate.
So up .7 from last week. Not awful. Not great.
I press on. I know that there are still many many improvements that I can make so I'm not beating myself up about the "gain" this week.
I need to remove that mid afternoon snack. I really don't need it. Its such a habit. Also don't need the dessert after dinner even if it is just a small snack. Just don't need it.
My goal this week is to limit more carbs as I'm still feeling super bloated.
Starting to do some online shopping and as I said last week, no bigger sizes! Also getting my hair done on Thursday! It feels like it's been ages since I got it cut/colored so yea!!
So I'm not discouraged and I hope I can keep pressing on.
Not actually the 1st WI wednesday but the 1st since the end of summer. Or the end of MY summer.
Was on vacation the last few weeks and honestly the full month of august felt like one big vacation.
Lots of celebrating, seeing friends, drinking, eating, just having a great summer.
We took the first week of September off to celebrate our anniversary and figured because most of our friends were returning to work and getting kids back to school etc, we thought it would be a quiet vacation.
Not so much. But we did have an amazing time.
Lots of food and drink and laughs and just great times.
So when I went back to work this past Monday and weighed myself I was - get ready for it..
177.3. WTF?
UGH. Here we go again.
Well, I decided enough is enough. Summer is now over for me and I want to get serious. It's jean and sweater season but I still want to look good in my clothes and I hate feeling bloated, which is what I've been feeling the last 6 or so weeks.
Plus I REALLY want to spice up my wardrobe a bit as it feels like I didn't buy anything over the last 18 months due to covid restrictions and not really going anywhere. But I have the shopping bug back in me and I don't want to buy a bigger size.
So as of today - my first WI day for post summer fun is 173.5.
I don't love it, but I do love that I'm down 3.8 from Monday! Been drinking a ton of water, cut out sugary items and carbs. Also not snacking in between meals.
Let's do this!!! AGAIN.
I love September and I hate September.
I love the change in the weather to lovely warm days and cool evenings. But I always tend to get the September Blues along with it.
I think I'm ready this time though. As much as I don't like the shorter days that comes along with fall, I do like the coziness of being home, watching a good movie/show/sporting event with the family.
I'm hoping with the turn of the calendar I will also see a turn of myself back into some sort of regular routine.
I have been doing better with my eating since last week.
WI this morning was not as good as I expected but it was down. I was 172.2 this morning.
I've been good this week. Much less snacking than usual and a lot less carbs. They are still creeping in but I've been much better and I'm proud of myself.
This week is a true test on how much I am on track and whether I'll blow it or not.
Tomorrow is our anniversary. We are going out for dinner and then we are off on holidays from Friday to the following Friday.
Let's hope we can hold our shit together! :)
I feel the creep happening again.
The dreaded weight creep.
Before my vacation I was hovering at 169/170. Basically getting up to the top of the wall, sitting there for a bit and then jumping back down again. Never quite crossing the wall to the other side.
Now - I'm not not only not on the wall, but I've jumped back away from the wall.
When I finished my vacation, I weighed at 174ish... so I had gained 4-5 lbs. Completely what I expected after 2 weeks of basically eating/drinking whatever I wanted. Usually that takes a few days to fall off and I settle back into my pre-vacation weight again.
Not this time. I have been back to work since the 9th of August and the weight is still high. I did manage to get down to 170.4 this past Monday and I thought I was on a track to getting near that wall again, but this morning when I weighed it was 173.
This has happened before and If I don't get hold of it soon, I'll soon be talking about the 179/180 wall. It happened last fall and without even noticing I was back near the 190s.
My goal this year was to get to the 160s and it just hasn't happened. I saw it on the scale maybe 5 times over the summer but it was just a peak.
So, summer is basically over. I do have one more week of vacation and we will be heading away somewhere but I'm not in the mindset of drinking and eating anymore. At least I hope I'm not.
We had sushi last night and I feel so bloated today. I'm also mid cycle which tends to be heavier for me on the scale but I'm done making excuses... well not done, but I do need to get serious.
As of today, I'm committing to getting serious. I really really need to do this. For my physical health, for my mental health and for my wardrobe.
So here we go. Starting weight 173.1.
Let's get back over that wall!
It seems like every one we know right now has a child suffering with mental health issues. My two best friends have daughters that are struggling; one is 13 and struggles with anxiety and acceptance and has said she feels suicidal at times, the other is 23 and has struggled with eating disorders for the last 4 years and will be admitted for treatment in a few weeks.
Last night we heard of another friend that has a daughter that has been cutting herself , she is also 13 and yet another friend that has a daughter that struggles with bulimia.
Of course, we also have struggles in our own family with my son, who is 21 that has struggled with anxiety and minor depression this past year. With a lot of work, he is doing much better, but it will likely be a struggle that he will have again in the future at some point.
Why so many? It seems like everywhere we turn we hear of friends, who have children suffering. What is so different now from 30 years ago when I was growing up? Was it just more hidden then and nobody talked about it? Or was there less suffering?
I really feel that social media has so much to do with the struggles that our youth are fighting with on a daily basis. But I also feel that it's the norm to have a mental health struggles and I would never say it's the "cool" thing to have because it's not, in any way, but the more I talk to my friends, the more it feels like their children feed off of their friends struggles. If one friend is struggling they seem to struggle too?
I wish there were an understanding why this seems to be the silent, or maybe not so silent, epidemic that is really going to affect our future. If our children do not have healthy minds, how can they have healthy futures and families?
Last night I attended a dinner for a friend that turned 50 over the weekend. I did not want to go to the dinner. I wanted to stay home, curl up on the couch with the tv remote and just chill.
I'm not a fan of the birthday girl's husband and as my hubby unable to attend, due to a cracked tooth repair, I was just dreading the entire evening.
Normally when I get in that mood, I either make an excuse not to go or just slap on a pair of jeans, put my hair in a pony, maybe throw on some mascara and go.
Last night I thought, maybe if I really doll myself up, I will feel awesome about myself and have a good time. And you know what?? It worked.
I dragged from the closet, a cute as hell halter top dress and some strappy wedge sandals. I shimmied my way into my strapless bra and tummy control spanx, put my hair up and yes, I pulled out the fake lashes.
Here is the dress.
I looked good. I felt amazing. And I had a great time. I didn't get a picture of myself but kinda wished I had now.
After 18 or so months of living in track pants and no makeup, it was a reminder that sometimes just making yourself "feel" good and pretty, changes everything!
Usually when I see weight gain after a vacation, I jump right back in motion and get back on track. Not this time. For some reason, it's been hard for me to quit the handfuls of chocolate covered blueberries hiding in my produce drawer in the fridge. I am snacking on nuts, and pretzels and all things snacky
I know that having my period start the day that I finished my vacation was going to be tough, but I've used it as an excuse to not get back on track.
So my period is now officially over, we are at the end of the week and I haven't even had the guts to weigh in as I know it's still high from last week.
So my mini challenge is JUST for this weekend, to see if I can get back on track.
Here is the challenge:
1. Drink my water - or more water, or at least some water! My water intake has been awful, so I need to improve on that big time.
2. Ditch the snacks. No more snacks. I'm eating my 3 meals for the day and that's it.
3. Ditch the useless carbs. Way too many carbs this last few weeks. Chocolates, pretzels, crackers etc. Gotta get em outta my mouth
Let's see if I can do these 3 things this weekend and get myself back on track. Gonna be hard as hubby is working tomorrow so I will be likely just puttering around the house and if I'm bored, I'm likely gonna wanna eat. But I will have to be strong! Strong like bull! :)
I'll check back on monday and report if I passed or failed the challenge!
Reminder that last monday I was 174.2 EEK.
Back from Vacation. So well rested.
We had a nice vacation. Went to Whistler for a few days with the pup and spent some time hiking and biking. It was hot so we were limited with what we could do and how much time we wanted to leave the dog in the hotel room. It was also extremely busy in the village. So much so that we were unable to find anywhere to eat on the first night so had to grab take out and bring back to our room. Well we could find places to eat but the waits for tables were over an hour and I was starving. The next night we had dinner at 4:30 to beat the rush!
We figured going there from Wed-fri would beat the rush but apparently many others had the same idea. We high tailed it out of there on friday morning of the long weekend and could not believe the line up of cars just trying to enter Whistler.
The following week we stay-cationed and spent time riding the bikes, going for lunches, visiting friends. It was lovely. We had a 50th birthday party in there as well.
On our last few days we travelled to Vancouver Island by bike with 2 other couples. We rode a total of 135KM (84 miles) over the 2 days and even on ebikes, my legs were aching when we got home. Had a blast. Ate and drank Waaaaay too much, but figured what the hell. YOLO!
Back to work this monday - stepped on the scale for this first time in 10 days and Whoooops. 174.2. Momma gots some work to do!
Replacing cocktails with water and detoxing the sugar and sweets from my body. Hopefully won't take too long to get back to pre-vacation weight.
Why oh why does it come back so fast!? But take so long to lose.....
Okay, I never actually wrote about a Mini Vacation Part 1, but this is our 2nd bout for the summer, so the title made more sense. There will be a part 3 but that won't be until September.
Today is my last day of work and then we are off to Whistler in the morning. Yay! I haven't been to Whistler in over 2 years so I'm so excited to go back. We are bringing the dog and the bikes. We plan to be active the majority of the time hiking, biking etc and when we are not active, I'm sure we will be eating. Ugh. The food. It's going to be tough to be good.
Weight was back up to 170.6 this morning. Damn weight has hovered between 169 and 171 for the last few months. Can't see it going down in the next 2 weeks either. I'll be happy with a maintain after these 2 weeks.
So Whistler for a few days, back on Saturday and then we have a friends 50th birthday party on Sunday. Man we are getting old.
Next week, we will just putter around locally and then next Friday we head out on our bike trip to Vancouver Island. So excited for that. Us and 2 other couples will ride over, stop at some lovely wineries, brew pubs and have lunch. Then we will stay in the heart of Victoria in a lovely hotel and then have dinner, more libations and then turn around the next day and come home.
Hoping I can keep the eating in check for the next two weeks. We are supposed to get some more heat, so that will help because I don't tend to have much an appetite when it gets hot and muggy.
Time to tackle some of that summer bucket list!
It's been a few weeks since I last wrote, but honestly, I have very very little to report.
The weather has been amazing since we got over that heat wave. Not a day of rain, even though we really could use a little from mother nature. Just wait... it'll decide to start raining during my next bout of vacation at the end of the month.
We have been taking our bikes out for rides around here and there and are loving them. Even hooked up my blue tooth speaker and played a few playlists on our ride down to the beach last weekend. Was so relaxing and enjoyable! Money well spent!
My weight? Well, surprising, it's doing quite well. I have been weighing "almost" every day and it has been fluctuating a bit but it looks like I did lose the vacation bloat and I'm back in the 160s... barely, but I'm there. Would love to get down to 165 or low 160s by end of summer, but we will see. I'm not tracking at all or doing anything special with my eating so maintenance is just where it is right now.
Planning a few trips while we are on vacation the end of July. We are going to head up to Whistler for a few days with the pooch and then maybe take a bike trip to Vancouver Island. Hopefully the weather holds up for that.
We survived the heatwave. Barely.
It got to 36 one day with high humidity so it felt more like 43. For all ya Fahrenheit folks that is a heat of 96 with a feeling of about 109.
And we don't have central air in our home. I debated calling a plumber on multiple occasions to come and install. Not that they would have been able to, but it made me feel like I was doing something to beat the heat. We do have a portable A/C unit in our bedroom but the boys' rooms felt like bake potatoes and they did not sleep well at all.
We found relief by filling up a tiny little Mr Turtle pool and dipping our feet in it throughout the day. On the Monday, which was the hottest day, I could not function. I felt like my brain was mush. I could probably not spell my name if someone asked. The dog was out of sorts as well.
Everything returned to normal on the tuesday with lovely warm weather and a slight breeze.
On Wednesday we bit the bullet and bought ebikes. We had ordered some ebikes back in april but after multiple delays in delivering we decided to up our budget significantly and buy more elite models and receive them that day!! I LOVE my bike.
We've been out riding every day since we got them and can't wait to plan some away trips too!
BC basically opened up on July 1st (Canada Day) so we were free to visit friends that we have not seen in ages. They bought a home on the ocean last summer and it's gorgeous. Was so lovely to sit on their patio, drink wine and just gaze out at the sea.
The gorgeous view from their patio
So how did I do with exercise, eating etc during my week off? During the heat wave, we did nothing. Drank a lot of water, ate very very small meals and did not exercise AT all.
After the heatwave, we upped our food, replaced water with adult drinks or coffee, but did work off a bit when we were riding.
On 6/30 - which was my "official" weigh in day I was at 168.4!!! Wooop.
I am up significantly from that today - 173.2 but I'll reign it in this week and get back to it. Lots of water in my future.
We are gearing up for a heat wave. Other people may laugh as it won't be THAT hot but to us here on the west coast it does not get this hot, EVER. It's not so much the temp that has me scared, it's the "feels like row below the temps"...
We normally hover around the 22-24 mark in the summer which is just perfect for us. The majority of people in Vancouver do NOT have A/C in their homes and living next to the water, we do get a fair amount of humidity. It's not that lovely dry heat that comes in the desert areas of Canada or the US.
So the plan this weekend is to drink water, eat salads and just sit. Can't take the dog out as he's just too hairy and too old and too fat to take the heat. Oh and I'm sure he heat will have me all bloated up like a blow fish too... :) good times. How ya'll live like this in the southern states???
Over the last few years, I've managed to lose upwards of 35 lbs and for the most, kept it off. About 18 did creep back in 2020 but I've lost just about all of those 18 lbs now. I think I have 3 to go.
So, I've done well. I know I move better, that my body is healthier and that my clothes are fitting so much better. I actually feel GREAT on some mornings when I put on my clothes and look in the mirror. Oddly, I do not have a full length mirror in my bathroom or bedroom so I never really truly know how I look from head to toe. But my upper half looks good to me!
For the last 10 years or so I have had ONE pair of shorts that I would wear. They are jersey fabric, loose, with a tie string waist so they have fit me when I was 215 and now at 170. I caught sight of myself in our security footage last week and could not believe how ugly those shorts were. I always thought they were cute. They were WAY too big on me and somehow my body looked unbalanced.
So I decided to pull out my "vacation shorts" and some that I recently bought. Much shorter and more tailored and I actually wore them out shopping this weekend, so IN PUBLIC. I usually would only wear my vacation shorter shorts either on vacation or on truly hot days and only in the backyard. But I am trying to get past the fact that nobody actually cares how I look and they are not staring at me hoping I would have just lost another 10-15 before attempting to wear shorts.
So I've been feeling good. It's been a struggle but I'm getting there and proud that I feel better in my own skin. Well guess what, this time when I looked on my security footage, loading things into my car. I looked frumpy and a lot bigger than I thought I was. UGH
I know it's self-confidence. I know that I am feeling and looking so much better than I was before but I still have issues when I see a photo (or video) of myself and I don't look as good as I imagined I did.
It's something I know I have to work on. I love myself much more than I did years ago but it will be a struggle for awhile longer.
Until then, I will press on and in the meantime, I need to go add some sunless tanner to my legs cause them babies sure are white compared to the rest of me!
Me? Yeah, I'm stubborn, but not even close to my husband's stubbornness! Drives me crazy sometimes!
The one thing that he is being really stubborn on now is his health. He keeps promising me that he's going to go see the doctor for an annual (more like 5 years for him) and have a check up done. He doesn't want to go because our family doctor is going to tell him he's fat. He doesn't want anyone to tell him he's fat, even though he is and even he complains about it.
But I do truly worry about his health. He's always been a very very healthy guy all his life. No blood pressure issues, no diabetes, blood work always excellent. But up until the last 3-4 years, he's also always been at a fairly healthy weight. When I met him he was about 170 lbs, which in my mind was waaaay too skinny and after we had 2 kids and about 20 years of marriage and after I gained a bunch of weight he went up to about 220. Not huge, not totally unhealthy but just a bit fluffy... Dad bod. :) He's also 6'3".
I'd say in the last 4-5 years he's gained another 60-75 lbs. Hard to tell on him as he is a big guy and he can carry that weight just about anywhere, but he is carrying a lot of it in his mid section right now. Right where the doctor's tell you to be careful with.
When I lost all my weight in 2018, I really thought he would join in with me but it seems to be worse now.
Some of my habits have changed, including my need to go to bed early each night. I tend to go to bed between 8:30 and 9:30 each night. I like to do my skin care routine and settle with a book at night. I find it helps me sleep a bunch better.
The issue is when I go to bed, he snacks. A Lot.
I don't want to nag him to stop eating and to make better choices, but I do. I try not to, but now the boys are nagging him as well. It seems to have the reverse effect on him. When we nag, he tends to snack more when we are not around.
Not sure what else I can do but just be there to "support" him. I eat a low carb diet which can have some higher fats in it. That is fine because I'm not eating carbs along with it. The problem is that he eats what I eat PLUS the carbs. So bad bad bad. I do buy carbs as my boys eat them so they are in the house.
I really don't want him to have to hit a rock bottom to wake up and so something about it, but I fear that is what is going to happen.
I hate wanting to help so bad, but he's not wanting my help. Pains me every single day.
June 2021.
It's June - I can't believe it.
Where has the time gone?
This past weekend was my birthday weekend and we celebrated Covid-19 style... so basically the same as every other weekend. :) It's all good. had a few meals out with the hubs, dinner at home with the family and a few friends came by for drinks and a fire on Saturday night. Another year older. Yay Me.
So here we are in June so almost halfway through the year so I figured I'd check where I have come from since January.
Weight wise - at the start of January I was 177.5. Last Wednesday I was 170.4 so a 7 lb difference or around 1.4 lbs per month. The January weight would have likely been a bit higher due to Christmas/New Years as well.
So many ups and downs in my weight that I honestly thought I was further along in my journey to get to 155 than that.
I have made some changes over the last 6 months with my food and my supplements and although I do think my insides are healthier, I'm not too thrilled with the changes on the scale.
2 weeks ago I decided to change up my eating a bit. Reduce the number of snacks that I have in a day and see if it changes anything. The jury is still out on the results. I have not yet tested my fasting glucose as I will wait a few more weeks and get a good month in before I test again. The transition to no snacking was not as hard as I thought it would be. After a few days of "thinking" I was hungry during my snack time, I managed to get through them and now I can easily get through between breakfast and lunch and then again dinner, without having to grab a treat.
I have not been tracking my food but without the snacks, I should be in a range of 1000-1500 a day which is good for me.
I'm still weighing every day and see the fluctuations happen. Last Friday I saw 168.4 which is the lowest in a few years so that did get me excited. We will see what happens tomorrow but so far, not looking like it's going to be that low.
I just finished my lunch hour and for the majority of it, I sat on the couch trying to figure out what to eat for lunch. Nothing felt appetizing and really I wasn't feeling very hungry.
So why do I feel the need to eat. I did not eat breakfast so my brain is telling my body " You need to eat". But I don't.
In the end, I ended up making a quick protein smoothie and although it tasted fine, it didn't wow me and now about 30 minutes after having it, I feel pretty much the same. Not full, not hungry... just eh.
I have spent the week, trying to make the conscious effort to not snack between meals. I did give myself Saturday and sunday off but even at that point, I didn't really snack too much, although there was some grazing before and after dinner.
I don't think it's affected my weight very much as the scale looked to be hovering around the same value as Friday but we will see what tomorrow brings. It is also my TOM (albeit 10 days late) so that might have an effect on weight as well.
What I do want to see if my blood glucose readings this week. I'm going to fast Wednesday night and take my blood glucose Thursday morning before my coffee (2 hours after I wake up though) to see how it looks. I'm hoping that with a week of no snacking and hopefully better controlling my insulin levels that my blood glucose is better.
It's not bad... actually, it's great during the day but my fasted blood glucose was 6.1 at my last check up. That's just too high. It should be under 5.5. Last week, before I started the no snacking venture, it was sitting at 5.3 in the morning. So we will see if it's better, worse or the same this week.
I know that eating a low carb diet will affect blood glucose and some people become glucose sensitive so I want to try to stay on top of that as best I can.
So not only is the number on the scale important, but so is BP and Glucose... so the goal is to try and keep them all at a healthy range.
I finished the book I mentioned in my last post - The obesity code - Unlocking the secrets of weight loss by Jason Fung.
I took away some very interesting concepts in the book regarding weight loss, the usual gain after the loss and how our bodies work.
He writes that the key to weight loss and beating obesity is to regulate our insulin levels in our body as it is insulin that actually makes us fat. Not calories, not carbs - although carbs are basically insulin creators, but it's managing our insulin.
One key to regulating and managing our insulin is through fasting. I know that when I eat, my insulin levels rise and then has to recover so if I'm eating every 3-5 hours, my body is constantly building up insulin and then recovering, but then before it can stay low long enough, it goes up again because I've eaten again.
I'm not ready to do a 24-36 hour fast. Yet. I do really want to do one. But not yet. Soon, hopefully as I know a longer fast helps do a full reset in our bodies which I do believe we need every once and awhile.
One tip that was mentioned in the book was to eliminate snacking. It makes sense as it's added calories but the reality is that it's not the added calories that causes the problem, but the constant fluctuations of insulin in our bodies.
So my first thing I'm going to try is to not snack between meals. I don't eat breakfast but I count my coffee as breakfast so I will try to have my coffee (breakfast), lunch and then dinner. Nothing else. At least Monday to Thursday. I know on the weekends, it's a bit harder to manage as we are usually out and about or visiting/entertaining.
I tried this yesterday and let me tell you, snacking is literally a habit. I finish work and I usually go and grab my cheese plate, maybe some meats or veggies with dip and flop in front of the TV and eat. I'm not hungry, I just do it out of habit.
Typically, I eat lunch at 11:30. I then grab a handful of nuts at 2. Then I have my "after work" snack at 3:30. Then dinner between 5:30-6:30. Usually, I'm done eating after dinner, but on some occasions, I might grab a quick snack at 7:30 before bed. I'm in bed at 9.
So I eat at 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:30??? Seriously... I'm eating all day long!
Yesterday I changed it up. I had my coffee at 7:30, lunch at 11 and then dinner at 5:15. That was it. And I didn't die. I wanted my snacks out of habit. I thought I was hungry but after 10-15 minutes, any hunger feelings were gone. I grabbed a cup of green tea at 3 as my "snack" to hold me over.
So, I'm going to give this a try. My food tracking sucks but I think I can easily track WHEN I eat. Sometimes my lunches are a bit small, so I might up the food a bit more at lunch or dinner to ensure I'm getting enough calories in the day to sustain life! :)
I've tried many of them. Probably too many to even remember but yes, I've been a regular visitor of the fad diet. Some have "worked" and many have not. I put "worked" in quotations because even though I lost the weight while I was on the diet, I could not sustain the diet and ended up quitting and thus gaining the weight all back and then some.
Of all the Fad Diets that I've done, I've only had success with 2 of them. The first was Weight Watchers back in 2003. I started the diet after I had my second son and when I was able to really focus on myself. I had 1 year of maternity leave from work so I could dive deep into books, blogs, community forums and do all the research that I need to be successful. It worked. I lost the weight and felt amazing. However, when I returned to work, the weight started to creep back on. I was back working downtown with an hour commute each way and often too tired to make healthy lunches or even healthy dinners. Working a full day and then having to become "mom" when I got home meant that I didn't make time for myself to go to WW meetings or take care of myself. Little by little the lbs crept back on.
The 2nd "fad" diet that I have had success with was the Keto diet. At first, my goal with this diet was to remove the sugars and white foods from my diet (rice, flour, bread etc) in hopes that it might kick start some sort of lb droppage. I started the Keto diet on my birthday in 2018. There were ups and downs and I've fallen off so to speak a few times as well, but for the most part, I have kept the weight off with this diet and not only that, it's honestly been the easiest diet that I have ever done. I'm not even going to call it a diet anymore, it's a way of eating for me.
The issue for me now is that I've stalled. I've been at the same weight for almost a year. It wavers up and down a few lbs but pretty much the same weight.
I do have a few lbs that I want to lose, mainly for health reasons in that I do believe I can get off my bp meds if my weight drops by another 10-15 lbs. That's all I want!!! 10-15 lbs!!! It's so hard though.
On the weekend I started reading the book " The Obesity Code - unlocking the secrets of weight loss " by Dr. Jason Fung. Yes, Jason Fung is a supporter of intermittent fasting and keto, which was likely why I chose to read his book. I'm only a little ways into it but it's opening up my eyes about weight, weight loss and how our bodies function. After dieting for the majority of my life, I do believe I'm an expert on the subject. I believe I know how to diet, it's just putting the plan into motion that is often the tricky part. The main focus on this book is how insulin works in our bodies which I have NEVER really paid attention to. I have to admit, I've always only thought of insulin as an issue for diabetics, but that is not the case. It's opening my eyes a bit.
It was Mother's Day yesterday and I had a lovely day. The boys spent the day at home and we hung out in the backyard and just chatted and shared stories.
My eldest made me breakfast in the morning and then we went for a walk with the dog. My youngest did the grocery shopping with hubby and I absolutely loathe grocery shopping so that was amazing!!
Being a mom has been the greatest gift I could have ever received. I love my boys more than anything in this world and cannot imagine a day without them. I hope and pray for the day that they have families of their own and I can be a grandma to babies.
Being a mom has not always been easy though. Growing up my boys were easy and I was so thankful for that. If anyone had warned me before I had kids, that when they hurt, you hurt 10x as much, I wouldn't have believed them. If they told me that when they leave in their car or with their friends, there is a pit in my stomach that worries about them until they are back home safely under my roof, I would have thought they were crazy. Knowing that I cannot do everything for them, to make life easier and that they have to learn to succeed and fail on their own, is very hard to do.
Although my boys are both just starting their adult lives I hope I have given them the tools to function on their own and be good humans. I hope I have taught them the following:
My mom died when I was young - only 24, but every single day of my life I try my best to do and act the way that she expected me to.
If I'm a fraction of the mom that she was to me, I think I'm doing a pretty good job.
Welp, my plan to not focus on the number on the scale, seems to have back fired slightly. I'm not off the rails just yet, but I do see a familiar downward spiral in motion that I need to get control of right away.
A few weeks ago, or maybe even longer than that, I decided that I was not going to worry about the number on the scale anymore. It can be an obsession of mine and I know that I need to be happy with myself, regardless of the weight or the number. Things started off well. I was moving more, loving my body and how my clothes fit. Not worrying about the number so much. I still weighed almost daily but I honestly did not care if the number fluctuated. I just accepted it going up or down. Funny enough that it stayed within a 2 lb range.
But as history has shown, if I don't worry about the number, my pea brain seems to think that I can just let stuff slide. I stopped tracking my food intake and then started allowing snacks and treats and SUGAR back into my life. It all went down hill a few weeks ago when we took a few days off of work and went out for lunch, then dinner, then it was hubby's birthday.....
I need to reign it in cause the number on the scale was something scary!!
May is typically a good month for me but also can be very challenging with son's birthday, mother's day and my birthday to wrap things up at the end of the month. For these reasons, I am going to pull out the old food tracker and get back the control of my eating and drinking.
I don't want to set a goal of X number of lbs to lose because that is just a disaster for me typically and if I don't lose X, then I'm a failure even though I know well enough that I cannot control the number on the scale.
So my goal for this month is to continue my home work outs and to go back to tracking food. I know there will be a few slip ups with the upcoming celebrations this month but that's ok. As long as I'm in control for the rest of the days, I should be fine.
One day I might be able to not care about the number on the scale, but for now, I need it for accountability and that's ok.
To make this summer a little more exciting, I want to create a little bucket list of things I want to do or achieve this summer.
Some are health driven and some are just for fun.
1. Paddle board in the ocean. I've never paddle boarded in our ocean, only been on a lake, but I want to give the ol' Pacific a try this summer. The ocean freaks me out a bit mainly cause ours here is not that vibrant blue that you picture in your mind when you see the ocean. Ours is dark, a little grey and scary.
2. longish bike trips. We have ordered our ebikes and I'm so excited to get them. I want to take a trip to White Rock Pier (33K) and then eventually vancouver island (90KM). Hopefully the bikes are not too delayed. They were supposed to arrive mid may, but now looks like mid June. :( We have vacation booked the last week of June, so hopefully we will have by then.
3. Park Picnic with the family - this one seems simple enough, but it's so hard to drag the family out to the park for a picnic. I need the girlfriends to be there too so that they will agree with me and force the boys to come. Haven't done a full picnic in years, but I want to this summer. Even if it's just once.
4. Okanagan wine tour - this one all depends on whether or not we will be permitted to travel this summer, but if we are, this is on my list! I've always wanted to do one.... but never gotten to it. We've gone to a few of these but not in an actual tour.
5. Build our home gym. I haven't returned to the gym since Covid hit last april and I'm not sure if I will return. We took my car off the road as I really don't need a car during the day and I would only be insuring the car to actually go to the gym. I am starting to get into a rhythm of working out at home but I would like to setup an actual gym in the garage. It's going to take some planning and some money but I think it will be great.
Did I get a placebo?? Seriously, not ONE side effect?
I mean, I'm not complaining but..... so weird.
I did weigh in this morning and I was 169.8 Been hovering around that for a few weeks. Haven't been working out as much either but I feel good.
Thursday and Friday off to celebrate the hubs 50th birthday. In a pandemic. Should be interesting
So many emotions today. Must be that time of month.....
I had some serious fear this morning regarding my Covid vaccine appointment. I managed to get an appointment after they opened up the age group yesterday, for this morning. The only vaccine that is available for my age group is the AstraZeneca vaccine and that vaccine has had reports of blood clotting and even some death. But the reality is that there are risks with all vaccines and medications.
I did end up getting it and now I am feeling happiness that I have an opportunity to try to protect myself, my family and my neighbours.
Somedays the news affects me more than other days. I have anxiety today about the news. Today I pray for the Floyd family, Minneapolis and the entire World....
Hoping tomorrow is a day of peace, serenity and healing.
I've never actually published my monthly goals but they are always in the back of my head. The calendar turns and I immediately think.... this month I'm going to do x. X usually meaning "lose ?? number of lbs". At first the number was big (ie lose 10 lbs). Then I realized that losing 10 lbs is actually not easy, so the number would change to 5 and that eventually became "I'll be happy with just a 2 lb loss"..
But after spending the last few weeks concentrating more on my health and movement, I have strayed from "caring" what is actually on the scale. Yes, of course the number is still important and although it's not the only measure of my "health" it is a measure of it. So I can't get rid of the scale all together, at least not yet. I do hope one day I can become less reliant on it and not feel that it's the only thing that keeps me accountable.
So I decided for April, I'm not going to care what the scale says. I will still keep track of it but my goal for this month is to become stronger. I want to increase my cardiovascular strength and my physical muscle strength. I'm still not comfortable going to the physical gym but I have enough equipment here at home to get in a good strength workout.
My step count has increased daily and I'm getting 3-4 "sessions" at home as well. The sessions might be a quick 10-20 minute HIIT or a 30 minute muscle focused workout. So far, I'm feeling good.
I did end up going to my GP to review my blood work and as expected he wasn't happy. He said he's not ready to recommend any medication as he believes I can control with lifestyle. He's not a fan of the Keto diet, which I completely expected, but I don't care. I feel better than I have in years and I have been spending a lot of time researching blood work results on a Keto diet and it all makes sense to me. I will continue what I'm doing with some small changes in my food (ie. Using plant fats instead of animal fats for cooking, and reduce my red meat consumption).
I do think activity will better my numbers overall. I have already seen a dramatic decrease in my blood pressure over the last 2 weeks since starting my exercise regime.
So my goals are really the same, about overall health, but with much much less focus on the number on the scale.
Oh and I did exchange my too big clothes for smaller clothes. Can't wait to make another trip (sans hubby) to the mall so I can get some cute spring/summer items.
I love spring. Not as much as early Fall or Summer, but it is right up there. Actually, winter is really the only season I dislike, which makes me think that I should plan to move somewhere that is warmer year round. I do want to stay in Canada though, sooooo, I'm outta luck for finding somewhere warmer :)
It's been a long time since I have gone shopping into a mall and spent the day trying on new clothes and shoes and going for lunch. Any trips to the mall right now are to quickly return something or pick up something. I park close to the store that I plan to go to and rarely stop at any stores just to "look".
So most of my shopping has been online and I have not been buying anything because I don't go anywhere. Why would I need new clothes or shoes? But I actually do need new shoes. My shoes are starting to wear and so they will need to be replaced soon.
I did buy 2 jackets online because I needed a transition jacket for our night walks when it's warm but still brisk. I wanted a white one as every other jacket I seem to own is black and I think I'm small enough now that I won't actually look like a marshmallow in white! I also wanted to buy a light weight vest that would be reflective for when we are out late riding bikes or again walking at night with the dog. The jackets arrived yesterday and they are TOO BIG! I am thrilled that they are too big but now I will have to venture back to the mall to return/exchange them. But that's ok.
I then wondered, if I had actually changed sizes or if they were just a roomy fit, so I went into my summer drawer and pulled out some shorts that I know were tight last summer. Not only did they fit, but I honestly could go down a size. Say whaaat?
So this weekend I will go to the store, return my too big jackets, look for some shoes and MAYBE even some smaller shorts if they are on sale. :)
I have been much more "active" this past week. I've done a number of home workouts and have been lengthening my walks with the dog at lunch. My body feels good and I feel good!
Weight this morning was 170.2
Haven't had anything interesting happen the last two weeks so not really point in posting boring stuff. Still nothing that is mind-blowing happening in my life, which I think I'll be thankful for.
We are all healthy. The weather is starting to turn. Things are good!
Hubby turns 50 next month. I'm disappointed that we can't have a celebration with family and friends but it is what it is. We will still do a special dinner somewhere and the boys talked about taking him golfing so we will make sure to do something, even if it's nothing draw-dropping!
Last time I wrote I spoke about my lab results and the fact that my doc had not called to talk about my numbers. I figured I was out of the woods... apparently not. He called monday and asked me to make an appointment to go over my cholesterol results. I'll hear him out but I know what he's going to say, and I am NOT going on any more meds.
I have started tracking my BP daily as I want to have a log to bring into him to show him how good it's been. I think the berberine that I started (supplement) and the body movement has been helping.
With regards to my weight and exercise. I have been moving more, I try to get in a strength training session at least 3 days a week and then I'm still doing my daily walks with Murph. It's been going well.
My weight. I really really want to not have to focus on that damn number but I'm just drawn to it. I have been feeling better if the number rises a bit and I did think about just skipping weighing in daily but I KNOW that it keeps me focused or at least aware. I went back and looked at when I was my lowest weight 167.5 and about a month later, I stopped posting and I am pretty sure I stopped daily weighing and low and behold 10 lbs just slowly crept back on. So for now I keep weighing daily and try to not let it get to me - either good or bad.
But for the record. My weight is down. I was 170.6 today. So close to my lowest weight. Not stressing it, not putting any specific goals on when I want to get there, but it's nice to have it just around the corner from where I am now.
Ok - WI Wednesday again and I did not lose this week. Stayed exactly the same at 172.8
BUT...
Today I woke up and honestly did not care what the scale would say back to me. Normally on a wednesday morning I get a bit of nerves just before I step on the scale as I know the number that is shown back at me is what I need to "record" as my weekly number. I know the number is not actually recorded into anything official but for me it's my official accountability marker.
But today, I didn't feel those nerves. I think this is the reason why...
Since my annual physical and my lab work, my mind has shifted somewhat. Not totally but I feel more excited about making my body healthy than the my weight. I figure as I make myself more healthy, the weight hopefully will just fall in line.
After seeing some rather alarming lab numbers I decided to try and make a few changes. Some will be easy and some will not be as easy.
I am moving more. On weekday mornings, I will take out 15-25 minutes to do a quick work out. Since last wednesday I have done 4 workouts. 2 upper body and 2 lower body. I like to do them right before my lunch and then at lunch I continue with my walk with Murphy. I feel good. I have done a few quick peeks at my blood pressure and it seems to be happy and not having any crazy spikes like it has in the past.
With regards to food, I have cut back on my cheese intake, removed whipping cream and I am going to try to eat less red meat. I know I eat quite healthy as it is right now but I can always improve that as well.
I have really tried to limit my carbs this past week. The weekend I still had a few glasses of wine, but I counted them and although I went over my carbs on those days, I still stayed under 50! Ideally I want to be under 30 each day.
So although the scale did not move this week, I did and I feel so much better for it. Well not right now as I have some serious DOMS kicking in on my legs and my arms but it's a good pain! I like muscle pain when I know I've pushed them.
Can't be promising that I won't be stressing about the scale numbers again in the future but for now, I have a new focus and hopefully a healthier one.
So I went to my doctors last week and he was pleased with my weight loss. It had been two years since I had seen him and although I wasn't down a bunch of lbs from then, I had lost more and that was a good sign as I would normally be heavier each year at my appointments. So GOOD! Yay...
He sent me for my typical blood/urine lab work and my numbers came back within a few hours after I had my tests done and they were NOT good.
My glucose was high, my cholesterol (LDL) was high. My HDL and Triglycerides were great. Oddly, my white blood cells were finally in the normal range when previously, they have been high, like EVERY single time I get my blood tested. So good for my WBC.
But my cholesterol... it's high because I eat a Keto diet which is primarily fat and very low in carbs. It makes sense. I eat fat to fuel my body so it makes sense that more fat is travelling around my body than glucose. It also explains my high glucose count as it could mean that I'm glucose intolerant. I've spent days scanning docs and videos on the internet that help explain it. It does make sense.
So now what? Well, oddly he hasn't called yet but the call could still come in and I know he's going to tell me to change something or want to put me on more meds. Nope, not going on anymore meds. I'm not doing it.
I feel great, amazing... better than I have in years so I don't want to change the way I eat. Yes, I'd love to lose a few more lbs but there have been so many advantages for me to eating this way that I don't want to change it. I have more energy, I don't take naps during the day anymore, I love eating veggies and love the taste of them, my skin is so much improved and my gut health is great!
He will want me to change my diet. I can make some adjustments here and I will try this for awhile.
I have started drinking 1 chia seed water a day - 3 tsp chia seeds, water and lemon juice (let it sit for min 30 minutes before drinking). Tons of fiber for my body!! Plus it is reported to decrease cholesterol levels so let's go!
I am also going to cut down on my cheeses a bit and limit my red meat to once a week or maybe even once every two weeks. I don't eat it much but I can cut down my cheese for sure.
I am also going to stop having heavy whipping cream in my coffee in the morning. It was extra fat but I really don't need it. Maybe these tweaks will also help the final few lbs that I want to lose.
So that's my thoughts on this right now. I'm fully expecting him to call me at some point this week and I'm dreading it but I do have a bit of a plan, so hopefully he's willing to listen to me and work with me on this.
My numbers: measured in mmol/L - to convert X 38.67
My weight this morning was down 1.4 from last week 172.8
Had my annual exam on monday (which was a year late)... oops, and it went well. I guess as far as exams go, that is. My blood pressure was screaming high but it always is as I get so nervous and anxious just being in the room and just wearing a sheet doesn't help either.
So doc took my word that my BP is normal at home but no adjustments to my meds just yet. He was happy with my weight and even mentioned it a few times. I was down about 10 lbs from 2 years ago. So not fabulous but good to see that I've kept it off. He said I'm down about 25 in 4 years. Again, not great, but down is better than up. Unfortunately, there are many fluctuations in there where I was down much more and then up much more but we start where we start.
So wednesday weigh in today shows 174.2. Up from where I was a few weeks ago before Dad passed but still reasonable and a good place to regroup.
Need to focus on tracking and water (my usual devils) and really try to get down the 15 or so that I want by my birthday (end of May), so I have time, but I know it's been a struggle this past year. Honestly, I'd be really happy with 10, but 15 would be ultimate goal.
Since my dry January, I have noticed that even though I'm drinking less wine on the weekends, it still affects my weigh ins and I think the main reason is that I just don't track the wine glasses and I need to. If I want wine, I am going to have to leave calories for it. That's all there is to it.
So my vow this week is to track as best I can and see if that helps kick start another loss. I do like my LCD - low calorie days, so I will keep those up as well but maybe shift them around a bit rather than on monday and thursday.
Tomorrow I have to go for blood work, so fasting tonight but that should be ok because I stop eating at 7pm every night anyways.
I feel like I am coming out from under my cloud. I am feeling better, more energy and able to come to terms that Dad is no longer here.
We still have the funeral to deal with but with health restrictions we are limited to 10 people anyways so it will be small, whatever we decide to do. Unfortunately, along with death and planning comes with it, arguments and disagreements with family members.
We all want something a little different. We all want to celebrate Dad in a different way and there is no right way. After stressing myself out the last few weeks about how to deal with my annoying sister, I have decided to just let it go. As my brother says to me, the funeral is a drop in the ocean as to the meaning of life and death. The one hour that we spend doing exactly what she wants, is just that. One hour. I will have the rest of my life to celebrate Dad in my own way.
Just wish it could be easier.
My eating has been messed. I'll go 2 days having little to nothing and then eat a bag of candy in one sitting. My weight is reflecting all of that.
I'm taking a break from posting my weight for a bit as I don't need the added stress. I'm getting stuff back on track as I don't want to totally derail everything I've done but I know seeing/posting a high number tomorrow will just mess me up.
I have my physical next monday with Doc which a good time to get a full regroup on my health. Well, I've already started but that will be an official regroup/restart.
The sun is shining today. No snow, no rain. I'll take it!
On Friday January 29th, I lost my dad. He was 87 and other than some aged slowness, he was relatively healthy. He didn't have covid or cancer or anything else. He was just getting a little older.
He passed suddenly at home, while sleeping in his favorite chair.
My world has been turned on it's head. I no longer have any living parents. My children have lost the man that supported them with all his being.
This has been a tough one and will take me some time to feel whole again.
I miss you Dad.
I was really really mad at myself for my post last week. I know I should not be so tied to the number on the scale. It bothers me that I felt great that morning before stepping on the scale and just seeing the number plummeted me into such sadness.
I gained .4 last week. .4? Who cares. I know I ate well and drank my water etc, but I still allowed .4 lbs to bother me.
However, as much as the numbers control me, they also do motivate me. As upset as I was for not losing, it did kick my butt into gear and realize that what I've been doing for the last few months is just not working for me. I want to lose the weight. But instead, I gain a little, lose a little, stay the same for a bit, gain a little, lose a little, etc.
SO I know how I have been eating is great for maintenance, but I'm not in a maintenance state just yet. I want to get down some more. I want to come off my meds and I don't believe that is going to be possible until I lose more lbs.
I have figure out the key to maintenance.... great. But what about weight loss? Well, the only answer for me is less calories. UGH.... And more importantly, tracking... DOUBLE UGH. I know I'll do it for a few days and then stop it. I need something new to excite and motivate me.
In the past, when I have stalled (at least on the low carb way of eating), I have done a 3 day kick start meal plan. The plan is set, there is no counting of calories, but it's 3 days of low calories, extremely low carbs and no dairy. It's worked for me in the past, but honestly, by the 3rd day I'm starving and eat a ton of calories and the weight that I have lost during the 3 days is gained right back. Plus, it's not advised to do more than once a month.
I wanted to find a new method with similar idea and after some googling and youtubing, I found the 5:2 method. The concept is simple. You basically eat "normally" or as you normally would 5 days of the week and then for 2 days, you drop your calories very low (around 500). I figured I would try this for a little while and see how it goes. I did last wednesday and this monday and then I will start to rotate mondays and thursdays. I'm not doing 500 cause that's a little low for me right now, but instead I'll do around 650. Last wednesday was 650 and on monday I did 620.
These 2 days are the only ones I'm going to track. For now. Once I figure out what my low calorie days are, I will likely stop counting the calories for them as well and just wing it.
So it will drop my calories for the week to put me in the deficit that hopefully will help me shed the last 15-20 that I want to drop.
So what were my results? I weighed in this morning and I was 173.7. That's down 3.8 from last week! Biggest loss I've had in over a year. I'll take it!
An idea of what I eat on my low calorie day:
* This Thursday I may scrap the smoothie and do a 2 egg omelet instead (no cheese, just veggies).
I also make sure to have electrolytes (biosteel) and tons of water. Sure I get the grumbles, but they pass. I also make the family a dinner that I don't feel like eating that day.
We will see how it goes. It has me excited right now, so I'm going with it. I know it's not a long term thing but we will see if it gets me closer to my goal in the meantime!
Ok. I honestly thought I would see a HUGE loss this week. I even figured if it was a small loss, I'd be ok with it but probably not satisfied. Well... I gained. WTF???
Like seriously. Scale was 177.5 today. Why?
So like I said, WTF?
I'm mad. I'm mad at myself because I am too reliant on the number on the scale. I'm mad because my two best friends are losing weight when I'm not. I hate to admit that I'm mad at them, cause I'm also proud of them, but DAMN! I'm mad that what I'm doing is not working and has not been working for some time (September)
So now what? I honestly don't know, but I can't keep doing the same thing cause it is not working and I feel like I'm just spinning my hamster wheel.
I need to Regroup, Refocus and Re-evaluate
I'm going to strip my calories for the next 2 days to see if I can kick start some sort of loss and then reevaluate my numbers. What should my calories be? Do I need to drop my carbs, up my fat, what?
So for today it's bone broth, eggs and avocado. This has kick started me in the past, so I'm trying it again. I'm also considering a 48 hour fast sometime next week too but I need to do a bit more research.
Nothing much to report. Weight was down very slightly at WI .4 lbs (176.8). I thought it would be more, but it is TOM so that might account for some bloating weight etc.
Hoping next week is a good one!
Doing well on my dry January so far as well as my daily water intake. Actually, I'm doing well with everything so far, so I need to keep it up and hopefully I will see a big loss soon.
Weather is glorious here today so I need to take advantage and get my butt outside! It's days like today make me think spring is just around the corner but I know Mother Nature is just playing with us.
I mean really? Can a year have more pressure than what we are going to be expecting from 2021? The reality is that it likely, hopefully can't get any worse, so anything will make 2021 better than 2020.
I need to remember that 2021 has it a lot harder than I do, when I put pressure on myself. Last year was not a good year and I didn't take care of myself as I wanted to.
My vow for this year is to take better care of myself than I did last year. That means getting to my goal weight this year (165)! And maybe a bit lower and also getting my body moving again.
It might not be today or even tomorrow but I have 12 months ahead of me.
At first I thought about setting a bunch of challenges for myself, but the reality is that I'm just not ready for that yet. I know if I start, I will fail so I need to ease myself into any challenges I put forth for myself.
I do want to break the constant merry go round of my weight and finally break fully into the 170s and see that number lower on a regular basis. I looked back and I was basically the same weight (within a few lbs) when I started blogging again in September. I would see a few lbs loss here and there and then it would creep back up.
It's gotta stop. I can do this. I've done it before. I need to get serious.
I'm giving up alcohol for the month of January as I know that I am good for the 5 day work week and then all goes to shit on the weekend when I crack open a bottle for a few glasses of wine. The alcohol slows down my metabolism, it makes me snack, it's just not good for me right now. I don't drink a ton AT all, but if I have 2 glasses on friday and saturday, it's enough to sabotage any progress I had during the week. So it's done... for January. And then we will re-evaluate.
That's it for me for this month. I'm not going crazy with other plans etc as this one will be hard enough for me. Hopefully it will make me drink more water on the weekends and reign in the snacking.
Bought a new scale for myself for Christmas (FITTRACK) and it arrived yesterday. I calibrated it but it's still .5 lbs lower than my old scale, so instead of marking a loss or gain for this week, it's just going to be a new starting weight.
There is definitely a change in my weigh over the last few weeks and it appears as of now I'm back on track. My last official weigh in was 177.8 back on Dec 16th so basically back to where I left off.
So here goes.. my starting weight for January (first official weigh in). I'm back in the 170s.
