You know what I'm talking about. The dreaded number on the scale, the dreaded number of the size of jeans that you wear... those darn numbers that tell you that you are FAT!
I think I'm a reverse anorexic. I see myself skinny until I see a picture of myself. I look in the mirror and apart from the cellulite and scars, I think I'm decent looking. My ass is big, but it doesn't look as big in the mirror as I know it is. My stomach feels somewhat flat, even though I know it's not. As I strip down into my nothingness in the morning I look in the mirror and think... "yep - gotta be down another 5".. and then I step on the scale.
Motha @)O#(*@#*.... Not only am I not down 5 lbs, I'm either the same or up a lb or 2. I hate that scale. I hate that it controls my every emotion. It makes me happy for the day if it shows a loss and it kills my insides if it's higher than the day before. I hate it.
but I won't throw it out because it keeps me motivated and on track.. .as far as on track can be.
I'm the same flipping weight I have been for the last few weeks. I keep losing and gaining the same 2 lbs.
what's different. I'm not tracking my food. Especially my night time food. That is changing tonight.
I'm desperate to lose 3 lbs by Tuesday I'm flying to Hawaii the 20th of March.
Let's get serious people!!!
off to eat another cherry tomato.
BIZNITCHES!!!
