Whatever...

 Ok, the scale is up by a bit, like maybe a couple of lbs, but whatever. It's my TOM, it always goes up at that time, I'm sticking to the plan and eating well and getting my water in so I fully expect that the number will drop by the weekend.  So I'm not fretting it. I'm not writing the number down here, it's in my daily diary on my phone and it will stay there, as a reminder, but that's it. Moving on. :) 

I did do ok on my goals last week. 

I wanted to save some money - ok this one not so well. Is what it is - I need to start shopping for xmas! 

I did well on my water. I drank waaaay more water than before. Still not doing great on the weekends but I did have more than I usually do. 

I also managed to transfer 4 tapes over. I have about 5 left so I'm looking good on getting that done!

So goals for this week are: 

1) continue with water intake

2) get another 1 or 2 tapes done 

3) Get lists started for Christmas. I like to plan Christmas early so it's both financially and emotionally manageable. I buy all the gifts, wrap all the gifts, do all the decorations etc. Living with 3 males gives me that duty. They do the outside decorations but I'm in charge of everything else. I don't mind, but I like a few months to plan as it can get a bit intense. So.. need to start my lists. 

Our Covid numbers have been increasing here in Vancouver, so our PHO has set socialization rules for us.  We can not have more than our immediate family + our safe 6 over at one time. We were supposed to have friends over on friday for drinks and games, but I think I'll cancel. Although they are friends that have been in our safe 6 circle all summer, I think we need to keep the numbers down a bit more. The boys both have their girlfriends over on the weekends so we don't need extra ppl. I will be glad when this covid crap is over. 

Hope Netflix comes up with some good series soon... I'm getting bored with what is on TV! 

I leave you with this guy... honestly, could not survive Covid without him! 

Turning the Corner

 A few updates on things and setting some personal goals. 

First off,  I went for my callback appointment and it was not the same spot that has been in question for a few years, rather a new "spot" on my right breast at 9 o' clock. The other lump is at 7 o'clock.  So as soon as I heard that I started to really panic - thankfully I wasn't told that news until I was actually in the mammogram room.  The technician took a few pics of the girls and then said that I would have to wait a bit for my ultrasound. She was very kind and gentle but never revealed any thoughts that she might have had based on what she saw. So I waited for about 45 minutes and surprisingly the time went by very quickly.  I was taken into the ultrasound room and a different technician and tech student ran the little wand up and down, right to left for about 10 minutes.  They left the room to discuss their "findings" with the radiologist. 

Then the tech student came back into the room and said, we got what we needed, you can go. I asked her if it was another cyst like the other one or something else. She responded that she is not supposed to tell me anything... BUT.... it all looks fine. They could not find anything in that spot so it was likely just tissue. Phew!!! All good. Received another confirmation call from family doctor yesterday saying all was fine and just to resume regular testing each year.  Did I say, Phew?! 

Nick has been good. Really good. He's still not doing any school or work but he's been happy for the last few weeks and getting back to working out daily. He's still seeing his counsellor and says he really enjoys talking to her! Win Win. As a nosey mom, I want to know details, but I know if he wants to share, he will share when he's ready. Or not. I just want to know details. I need to get past that. 

I have been good with my eating. Might have had a few minor slips with a few packs of candy or a cracker here and there, but otherwise I've been good! I'm down 1.2 today from last wednesday, so although we are going slow, we are at least moving in the right direction. 

Goals - I want to set some personal goals. 

1. I really want to pay down some credit cards that have been hanging around for some time. So my goal is to pay down some before I have to ramp them up again for xmas shopping. Maybe this will have to wait until January. :( 

2. Drinking more water. I need to focus on drinking more water. I've been having some leg cramps at night and my body has been a bit achy in the am and I think it's because I'm not drinking enough water, so that needs to change. I have a 1 ltr bottle and yesterday I filled it 3 times. It wasn't easy to drink all that water but I think that is where I want to be. Usually I would only drink 1 of them... maybe. I know that other liquids also count for water intake but I want to start drinking pure water. So yesterday, I managed 3, so I know it's doable. 

3. Work on transferring old video tapes to digital files. I started this project a few months ago and then stopped. I still have another 10 or so tapes to go so I just need to get it done. Hopefully by writing it down as a task it will motivate me to chip away at them. Also, that would help me clean up my office which is a pig sty right now with equipment and wires all over the place! 

Looking forward to how I do on these goals next week! 

The Dreaded Call-back

First off I'm down .6 lbs from last week which is GREAT because it was Canadian Thanksgiving this past weekend plus a friends 50th birthday, so I did have a few unplanned treats. But all in all kept it together for the most part!  So any weight loss is a win! 

The boys spent most of the time at home this weekend with their girlfriends and the weather was awful so it was nice to cuddle up as a family on the couch and watch football and Netflix. 

So the weekend was good. 

what is the call-back about?? 

Last wednesday I went for my annual mammogram screening and sure enough, on friday I received a call from the hospital that I need more testing. It's not the first time I've been called back. 

It's the same cyst ? spot that I've had for a few years... so I guess it's good that they are keeping with it but it always freaks me out. I go tomorrow for a 2 hour detailed mammogram and then ultrasound.

Send me some good feels.... 

Plugging Along

This past weekend was lovely.  On Saturday, went out for a family walk to Watershed Park with Nick and his girlfriend. We took the dogs and had a great walk in the trees. The park itself is quite large so even though the parking lot was packed, you see very few people. 

There are areas that are flat and wide but then there are also a wide variety of bike trails which we followed and enjoyed more so than the straight paths. 

It's a place that is just so quiet and tranquil that you can just walk and look at the big trees and listen to the birds. And the dogs love chasing the squirrels. Nick and his gf loved it and I think they will return again on their own. 

Sunday we dinged out the garage and filled up the new shed :)  My garage is finally clean. Maybe I can get a new car now :) 

The general mood in our home has been lighter the last few days. I realize that we are going to go through some dips here and there, but I feel it's lighter and healthier. I hope so. 

I just finished up TOM and so my weight has been fluctuating all over the place, BUT it does appear that I'm down 1.4 lbs from last wednesday and at 183.4 today. I was hoping that it would be a bit lower but all in all I'm happy. 

On friday I did indulge in a few glasses of wine with the neighbours for an outside covid-friendly gathering in the cul-de-sac. But Saturday I switched up the wine and had 2 white claws and then Sunday I had nothing. I call that a win. 

Saturday we have a friends 50th birthday dinner so there will be wine, so I will limit on friday or not have anything. And sunday is thanksgiving and there will be wine  as the MIL is coming over and that is to keep my sanity while she's there. 

We've decided to not cook a traditional turkey this year and instead do another fondue night. I find it's more social with the family and a whole shit ton less work for me, so fondue it is!!! 

Have to go to get my mammogram this afternoon. Hopefully no findings there. 

So a few hurdles to get through this week, but all in all, looking pretty good. 

Fall Feelings

 October 1st. It's really hard to believe we are almost through 2020. This year has been a disappointment in so many ways but it's almost over and although life doesn't immediately change at the turn of a calendar page, there is hope that 2021 will be a better year for all. 

But let's start with this calendar page change. From September to October. 

It's been a tough month. As mentioned before Septembers are always tough for me, mentally and this one is no exception. But my pattern has normally shown that as October rounds a corner, my mood improves and we start to plan for Christmas, which is my ULTIMATE happiness! 

Nick is doing a bit better. It's going to be a long road but he's taken the first step and is much more open about talking. He has decided to take a leave from school this semester and reevaluate for next semester or next fall. There is no rush. He can return, or not, when he's ready to make that decision. He started with his counsellor last monday and it went well, but he did have an emotional setback the morning after. I explained to him that he's raw right now. Opening up lots of wounds that have scarred overtime and then need to reopen so they can heal properly. He gets it.... or at least so he says. 

I have encouraged him to Journal as it helps to write your feelings down but I really don't think the male human species gets the journaling thing. I hope he starts. It will be good to have it to analyze and look back as he continues to make progress on his journey. 

So things are moving forward with him, which makes me feel better. 

Obviously, I've been stressed as well so this last week, my nutrition has taken a back back seat in life. There are days when I would eat an egg and a piece of pita bread or days I would eat properly. Just no appetite. 

My weight has reflected that.  I was down to 183.8 on monday which under normal circumstances I would be thrilled about but I know it's stress weight loss. My TOM just started as well so weight will be a little all over the place for a few days. 

But all in all I believe I lost about 5 lbs this month which is not too bad considering I was on vacation the first week and eating/drinking like I was on vacation :) 

Goals for this month are to keep tracking as best as possible. 

I need to get more water in as well. I've been getting leg cramps at night about an hour after I go to bed so I know my electrolytes are blown to crap right now. 

Here's hoping October is a good month and we start the downturn of 2020 on a high note!