The Wagon

 Yup... fell off of it and then it ran over me a few times! This week has been marvelous! And Awful all at the same time. 

It's been lovely lazing around and spending time with the family, but there has been eating and drinking and more eating. So many sweets and chocolates and wine and other such loveliness. 

Stepped on the scale on sunday and "say what?????"... yup, up about 5 or 6 lbs from my last weigh in on the 16th. 

I know I won't be back in my normal range tomorrow so there is no weigh in this week. I haven't tracked a stitch of food or my weight since last monday (other than my peek on Sunday)... but I know I'm up about 4 since that point. 

So.... no weigh in tomorrow, but starting to get the water into me now and flush out some of the toxins and other such puffiness.  No more chocolates or cookies or other such carby goodness. Done. 

I will have some small indulgences (wine) on Thursday for New Years Eve but hopefully I can keep it at bay. Planning a few things in the new year to kick start some serious losing. Still working on some of the details.  

Until then... gonna drink my water and plead to others to also drink your water - I know I'm not the only one that blew it the last week or so! 

Let's catch up to that wagon that is rolling away from us and hop back on it! 

What's life without hurdles?

Well nothing like a holiday season without a trip to the ER! 

UGH.. not me, my son. He's ok. He went for a run the other night and cut from the sidewalk to go into the park and slipped on a patch of mud.  Xrays show that there is a break... of course! 

He will visit the orthopedic surgeon today and see if surgery is necessary and if so, will it happen before Christmas?  My husband broke his ankle in the exact same place 17 years ago. His recovery was hell but I was also trying to work full time and take care of 2 young boys (2 and 5) at the time. This time should be different. Nick is healthy, young and determined to get better quickly. Just sucks after the last few months with his struggles of anxiety and depression that this should happen.  Exercise was his outlet, so not being able to get out and exercise will likely bring back some tough times. 

I told him it's the perfect end to a perfectly shitty year and if there is ever a time to do this, it's now. We have nowhere to go and he's not in school or work so he can take the time to recover at home. 

Doesn't make it any easier though. God I hope 2021 is better!! 

For me personally, I've been in a bit of a funk as well. Just lazy... struggle to go out for walks or get out of the house. Not in the Christmas mood at all. Most of my shopping is complete, but I do have wrapping etc to do. 

I haven't had any type of appetite this past week which is odd as it's my TOM, so my weight did drop this week. I lost 1.6  (177.8). Not sure why I have no appetite but I guess I'll just roll with it for now. 

Working today and Monday and then I'm off until the 29th. Honestly, can't even believe that Christmas is next week.... 

These are a few of my favorite things....

 As we inch closer to the end of the year and I wallow in the fact that we are not able to visit with close friends or family this season, I felt the need to reflect on the good. The stuff that keeps me going.  So I figured I would jot down a few of my favorite things, just to remind myself that things are ok, even when they seem that they are not... 

Here are a few.... 

1. That time in the morning on the weekend, when it's just me and the pooch. I can enjoy my cup of coffee and snuggle on the couch with a blanket and watch mindless tv or just scroll through social media.  I love to sleep in, but I enjoy this time more, so getting up early on a saturday or sunday is worth it to me. 

2. When my family eats every last bit of the dinner I cooked. It tells me that they enjoyed the feast, that the time that I put into cooking something filled their bellies and made them feel content. 

3. Walks on a dry crisp fall day.  I love to walk and feel/hear the crunching of leaves under my feet. If it's sunny enough to wear sunglasses, bonus! 

4. Hearing my favorite song on the radio so I can belt along with it. I will likely only get 5% of the words right though :) 

5. Family time. Just sitting together and chilling; whether it be playing a board game, or watching a hockey or football game. Love the living room being so full that someone has to sit on the floor. 

6. Receiving a text from a friend that I haven't spoken to in a long time. Reminds me that we need to reach out and say hi every once and awhile. 

7. A glass of red wine on a Friday night after a long week of work.

8. Hearing children playing. With mine all grown up now, I don't hear it often. I love the noise of children playing. 

9. Meeting a new puppy. Nothing beats a puppy. 

10. Hearing that a family member or a close friends has received good news from medical tests results. 

I will miss not seeing my family this year for Christmas. It's the first time in my life that we are not all together.  But we will be together virtually... not the same, but as of now everyone is healthy and safe and really that is the most important thing

Short Update

 Back in the 170s... again barely but back in there. 

179.4

22 days left of this year! 

How are you all doing with only 22 days left of this month/year!? 

Oh and Happy Wednesday 

Ending 2020

I had hoped that I would be floating into December in the 170s and would be able to "relax" a bit over the holidays. Well november turned out to be a bust. 

All in all I lost about 1.4 lbs in November.  I lost, I gained I lost and then I gained again. 

What a waste of a month.  What a waste of a year!

I was so upset when I stood on the scale this morning and it said I was 181.2. Back in the 180s, where I truly hoped I would not see again. Once I hit the 170s a few weeks ago, I was so sure that I would stay there for awhile, hoping to maybe see the 160s in january. Now I'm just far behind again. 

I was upset because I was sure I was doing things right. I kept my carbs low. I have not been eating out of the chocolate bowl that has been taunting me for the last few weeks. I have been good. 

But I have not been tracking - because in my mind, I did not need to anymore. I know what I'm doing. I've been eating this way for years. I don't need to track, it's a waste of time and not needed. 

I told myself that if my weight was up this morning - and I expected it would be because when I looked last night it was up. BTW- My weight is always about 2 lbs heavier when I go to bed from when I wake up. And last night I weighed 183.6 when I went to bed.  So anyways, I told myself that if my weight was above 180, I would have to start tracking again. 

So it was higher and therefore I have started tracking again. 

I entered my food in from yesterday and guess what?  I had about 1800 calories and about 75 net carbs. To lose weight I have to be in the 1200-1300 range of calories and under 50 net carbs. So apparently I do need to track. 

I REALLY REALLY want to lose this weight as it feels like I'm in a hamster wheel going round and round with the losing and gaining of the same 5 lbs. 

Tracking starts today! For reals...... Hoping to end 2020 with some success! 

Tomorrow will still be official WI.