22 years

It's been 22 years since the most important person in my life left this earth. I was a kid at the time, only 24 years old and I don't think I fully appreciated her or appreciated the little time I had left with her. I was selfish and preferred to spend time with my new husband than I did with my dying mom.

I think I truly believed that she would be around forever. I somehow thought that if I stayed away from her withering self I could delay the inevitable. Mom died on the morning of the 7th, 1996 following an evening where her 3 children and husband happened to be together under the same roof. It was a rarity for us all to be together at one time as we typically took turns staying with mom to help give Dad a bit of a break. That night we were all there as we wanted to sit down and discuss whether to continue the radical treatment or not. In the end Mom, decided for us and left us that evening.

I ache that she never got to meet any of her grandchildren. She would honestly have been the most amazing grandmother. I see so much of my mom in both my boys. N has her absolute caring nature and R has her wild quirky side.

I've gone on in life and think about you often but it's this day that I think about how much you truly meant to me and how I wished I had done things differently. If I could only spend one day, one hour, one more minute with you... 

I miss you Mom....