Body or Mind?

There is definitely something wrong with my body. 

Last week I was on mental high because my weight was finally creeping down. Making a few small changes seemed to release whatever inflammatory crap I was holding onto. 

Then my period hit and bam.... weight crept back on. I was actually fully expecting it to. But guess what? It hasn't dropped again. 

I'm at 173.9 this morning. 

Unfortunately, when my period hits, I do tend to get the munchies. I haven't been eating the nuts or cheese or coffee cream, but instead I have substituted with banana bread and crackers and even a bit of candy!  I know that I did not eat an extra 10,000+ calories this week to justify the 3 lbs of weight gain but I also know that what I have been eating is inflammatory to me. 

So yea, I really should not be surprised with that number up there.  Surprised?, no, mad?... oh hells yeah! 

I know I can't eat that crap, so why did I do it?  I'm going to go back to my first sentence in this post.... it's not that there is something wrong with my body, it's my mind! 

As soon as I get the taste of sugar or carbs, my body wants more. I know that I just can't have just one bite.  Oh maybe I will just have one right now, but later I will have another, or tomorrow I will have two! 

It's an addiction. I know it is. If I were addicted to alcohol or cigarettes I would not expect myself to be able to have one sip or one puff and stop.  

I seem to give myself the excuse that it's food... I need this to survive! Uh... no. I don't. I need to get that through my head. I don't need to share a piece of cake with a friend when I go to dinner. I can just have my after dinner coffee and be fine. I need to just NOT have it. It will be hard to resist, but I've done it before and I know I can do it again. 

So after a week of disappointment of munching on things that I really shouldn't allow my self to munch on, I did this. I looked back to my post from March 31, 2021 and guess what... my weight was 170.2. So I have literally not lost anything this year. 

Personal vows and goals just don't seem to work for me. I am good for a day or two or maybe just a few hours. I just need to find the willpower again to stop to say no when the temptation is upon me. 

Small Changes or Just Hormones

 Last week I was seeing my weight bob around on a roller coaster but never really going down. It went up, it went up some more and then it went down a bit and then up some more... you get the idea. 

So I vowed to change up a few things.  My eating has been pretty good so I knew I didn't have to make any drastic changes, but I wanted to experiment and see if just a few things were causing me to stall and have bloat. 

So I cut out nuts and cream in my coffee and really cut down on my cheese.  And low and behold after a few days of skipping my handful of nuts after work and cutting out the cream in my two cups of coffee in the morning, I saw a drop. 

My weight on Thursday was 173.3 and by Sunday it was at 170.9.  OVER A WEEKEND!! Ok... that never happens. 

We went out for dinner last Thursday for St. Paddy's day. I had salad and a couple glasses of wine. We entertained friends on Friday and had a plethora of sushi and a couple wine coolers.  Saturday was a busy day but we figured we would just have munchies for dinner on Saturday (hot wings, a few nachos) and still ended up with a loss on Sunday morning! 

Say what??  But maybe it wasn't the foods I had eliminated. Maybe it was just my body ready to shed the extra water weight that I had put on last week. 

However, the weight continued to drop over the next few days (170.2) and then on Tuesday I ate cheese. And Wednesday I ate nuts. And my weight started popping up again. 

My weight was 171.5 this morning. So really not bad and just a bit over the weight on the weekend but after eating the cheese and nuts I know that it causes me to bloat and retain water. Not to mention they are extra calories that I really do not need.  Maybe the slight gain is just my body getting ready for my TOM which is literally just around the corner. But maybe it's the food? 

This weekend/week I will continue to experiment with different foods and see how they affect me. But for now, no coffee cream, no nuts and sadly, no more cheese.. at least for the immediate future. 

Like being in an ocean

 My weight is doing some weird bobbing around. When I last posted on thursday of last week, my weight was at 171.7.  A good solid weight and down from the previous week. 

Since then, it has bobbed up, and dipped down. Much like floating out in the ocean.  I have not been super strict which I know is the reason why it's bobbing and dipping. 

Weekends are still such a struggle. 

Here's hoping that I can keep things in order this weekend. That is my goal for this week. 

No snacking between meals and no processed carbs... the darn crackers and pretzels are such a temptation for me. Oh and no nuts. I tend to snack on nuts cause they are a healthy fat but I know whenever I eat nuts I tend to stall, or gain. So no nuts... as much as I love them! 

weight this morning... back up to 173.3. 

So frustrating. 

Moving Forward

The past week was successful. 

We moved MIL into a seniors home which involved a lot of packing, moving, unpacking and sorting.  We hired movers but my husband and I did all the rest. We managed to get her into the home and it's lovely. Hopefully she will be happy there. 

With all the moving activities, we were not great at cooking and ended up doing take out most days.  I was pretty good with the takeout with the exception of sushi night. But I'm not giving up my sushi.. no way, no how! 

My blood glucose is looking really good. I am currently only measuring once every 2 weeks or so, but the fasting blood glucose has been dropping and is in the normal range. 

Intermittent fasting is going really well and I have dropped the snacking in between my 2 meals. I eat at 1ish and then again at dinner (between 5-6:30).  I stop eating for the day at around 7. 

I have coffee in the am and then a cup of tea with ACV at about 11. It seems to be working for me in terms of curbing my cravings. 

My weight this morning was 171.7 so about a lb down from last week. Nothing earth shattering but feels good to see it go down. 

I have also started doing some mild exercises in the am (mostly for my blood pressure) which has been on the rise a bit lately. 

Slowly pecking away at the spring cleaning, which feels amazing to clean out cupboards etc and also to declutter.  Pantry is on my list next... that one is always fun! 

So all in all a good week. 50th birthday party for friend this weekend but should be manageable. 

Get me off this ride!

March 1 - 172.6 

There it is.  So basically the same weight as the start of last month and well last 6 months and let's be honest, the last 12 months! 

Will this time be different? 

God I hope so -  I'm getting tired of spinning around this Hamster wheel! 

I don't want to set any specific goals for the month in terms of lbs lost etc as numerical goals tend to push me in the opposite direction when I don't see immediate results. So, instead I'm going to set myself health and wellness goals. 

1. Intermittent fasting 18:6 or 16:8 7 days a week 

2. No chocolate 

3. Drinks only on weekend and ideally, only 1 day 

4. Declutter 2 main rooms in the house per week. Give away items that are still in good condition that I won't use or just throw away.  A decluttered house is good for the soul! 

5. Tackle spring cleaning tasks in the house like cleaning out drawers and cupboards and cleaning blinds and windows!