There is definitely something wrong with my body.
Last week I was on mental high because my weight was finally creeping down. Making a few small changes seemed to release whatever inflammatory crap I was holding onto.
Then my period hit and bam.... weight crept back on. I was actually fully expecting it to. But guess what? It hasn't dropped again.
I'm at 173.9 this morning.
Unfortunately, when my period hits, I do tend to get the munchies. I haven't been eating the nuts or cheese or coffee cream, but instead I have substituted with banana bread and crackers and even a bit of candy! I know that I did not eat an extra 10,000+ calories this week to justify the 3 lbs of weight gain but I also know that what I have been eating is inflammatory to me.
So yea, I really should not be surprised with that number up there. Surprised?, no, mad?... oh hells yeah!
I know I can't eat that crap, so why did I do it? I'm going to go back to my first sentence in this post.... it's not that there is something wrong with my body, it's my mind!
As soon as I get the taste of sugar or carbs, my body wants more. I know that I just can't have just one bite. Oh maybe I will just have one right now, but later I will have another, or tomorrow I will have two!
It's an addiction. I know it is. If I were addicted to alcohol or cigarettes I would not expect myself to be able to have one sip or one puff and stop.
I seem to give myself the excuse that it's food... I need this to survive! Uh... no. I don't. I need to get that through my head. I don't need to share a piece of cake with a friend when I go to dinner. I can just have my after dinner coffee and be fine. I need to just NOT have it. It will be hard to resist, but I've done it before and I know I can do it again.
So after a week of disappointment of munching on things that I really shouldn't allow my self to munch on, I did this. I looked back to my post from March 31, 2021 and guess what... my weight was 170.2. So I have literally not lost anything this year.
Personal vows and goals just don't seem to work for me. I am good for a day or two or maybe just a few hours. I just need to find the willpower again to stop to say no when the temptation is upon me.
I have struggled with my weight for so long that I relate to your post and to your feelings. Why does it have to be so dang hard? Personal vows don't seem to work for me either. If either of us discovers what works, we will share, right? :)
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