A few improvements

 It's been a few weeks since I posted and I am happy to say that things seem to be improving. Not on track every single day, but better than I was. 

I did really well at tracking my food that first week, but as soon as the weekend came, I forgot to track and haven't really tracked since. I hope to get back to that on a regular basis because it's the tracking that really wakes me up to the reality of what I'm eating during the day.  I tend to forget about the cracker here, piece of cheese there.  Weekends are hard and I'm not going to beat myself up about the fact that I don't track on the weekends right now. If I can be better during the week, that's a plus and maybe the habit will wear into the weekends too. My snacking has been under control for the most part, but when I track I don't tend to track at all so tracking needs to be a goal.  

Exercise has been good. I'm trying to ride the bike a minimum of 3 times as week and I also do my stretching 4-5 times a week. 

We haven't been socializing as much lately which also keeps the social wine here and there at a minimum. 

I started checking my blood pressure again and it's been looking good.  Hopefully sometime in the new year it will start really dropping and I can request a reduction in my medication. 

The sciatica pain that I had a month or so ago is all but gone. I can feel it creep in once and awhile but nothing like it was.  The stretching definitely helped that pain so I need to keep that up. 

One oddity is that after 8 months of no period, I had 2 days of very very light spotting. Nothing that I would have even cared about before but found it odd after so long. I made a note of it. 

Weight was down to 185.5 this morning. It was 189.6 at last post so I'm very happy with that. It has been yoyoing around a bit, but this was the lowest that it's been in a long time. If I can break down into the low 180s then hopefully it won't be long until I see the 170s again. My goal! 

Do the graphics make it more real?

I've been bitchin' and moanin' about my weight pretty much all summer. It's going up, what am I going to do? I'm going to get serious blah blah blah. 

Yet another week/weekend goes by where I start really well, the exercise is improving, but I know that it's the kitchen where the weight loss happens. I am good during the day when nobody is here but when everyone gets home from work, that's when it all blows up. Makes no sense, right?  I'm not the type of person that sits and snacks in a closet away from the judgement eyes. No. I'm the type that eats right in front of you, along with everyone else.  It's when they get home from work and want a snack that I join right in with them. 

Yesterday I tracked my lunch and I was sitting in a good position. Dinner was already planned to be some broccoli/cheese soup and a small salad with chicken. Which we did have.   And if I had only had that, my numbers would have been great and I could have been proud for the day. But instead... 

Here's a snapshot of my food yesterday. I had entered my lunch (first meal for the day) and then stopped. I entered the remaining food that I ate, this morning and above are the results. I overate again.  And what did I overeat on? Carbs... I snacked with my son when he got home from work. I ate pita chips and hummus and after dinner I ate regular sugar yogurt.  So nothing terrible at all, but out of plan and the little nips here and there are what throw me over my numbers and what is in the end, causing my weight gain. 

It's the damn snacking. I have to stop. 

I weighed in this morning and it was so much higher than my last weigh in that the app actually asked me if it was correct? Said that my new weight was considerable different from my last weigh in and did I still want to save the number! 

When I went in to show the graphic of my weight fluctuations?? It's not drastic, I know. It's a change of a little over 10 lbs, but it's the fact that it is just going up, up, up.. Over 12 months, this is what my weight has done.  I had control for a while and it was on it's way down and since the trip to Hawaii, it's been slowly creeping up. If I don't get a handle of it soon, it will keep heading in the wrong direction. 

I know I have to get serious. I know it's habits and I will break out of them. I'm hoping that looking at a few graphics that truly tell the story, will help me move forward in the right direction, because what I'm doing now, is not working. 

The Dreaded Sweats

It's been a while since I posted because there has been nothing to report.  I know in the back of my mind that this blog is for myself and to keep myself accountable so I need to be better about keeping it current. 

Here is my current. I have lost nothing, in fact I have gained. I saw 191 on the scale on sunday night and just about broke down and cried. 

Back in the spring I had worked hard to get in the mid 170s and I was proud of myself. I did the work to go on a spring holiday with the family. We went on the vacation and bam.. the weight just started to pile on during the months that followed. 

I don't think I've been terrible with my eating and although I'm not exercising daily, I have been doing my usual 3 days of cardio/strength a week. Things have not changed. 

Here's the thing.... my last period was April 5th! I've been on the slow train to menopause. It's been 194 days since my last period. So although I haven't done anything drastic food or exercise wise to account for the now 15 lb weight gain, I think I need to come to the realization that the perimenopause/menopause that is happening in my body is likely attributing to the gain and I need to adjust my way of thinking and acting. 

What used to work, is just not going to work any more. 

The last 2 months I have really seen a change in my body, both inside and outside.  The weight I'm sure is a big factor but I think the hormones are also creating a new me that I need to adjust to. 

My body aches more than it used to. I know if I sit on the couch or chair for too long and get up, I'm stiff. It's even gotten to the point where my son asked me why I was limping. 

I wake up multiple times in the night - usually 2 but can be up to 4 times a night with night sweats. 

I get flashes during the day. Nothing terrible and they seem to only last for 20-30 seconds or so but they are there. So much so that I don't think I will be able to wear sweaters this fall. Maybe a cardigan but I'm worried about being a walking oven and not having the ability to easily delayer. 

I've struggled with bad sciatica pain the last few months. Not in my glute but in my calf just below knee. I finally went to the chiropractor and she managed to work out a bad kink in my buttocks. It feels much better but when I sit for too long without moving or stretching, the pain starts to creep back in. 

So the old changes that worked so well for me, just don't work any longer. I need to find the new things that will work to keep this body moving and grooving into old age. 

First things first is that I have to get this weight off. It means I need to get back to tracking my food so I know where I am with calories.  I'm also going to focus on eating more protein as I know that I need more protein to help strengthen and build my muscles. 

Another thing I've started doing, mainly because of the sciatica pain, is to stretch daily. 15-20 minutes. It's been so helpful. My body is so tight but I have seen some improvement in just a week of stretching daily. 

Lastly, I need to reduce my alcohol intake. I don't drink a ton but on the weekend I really do enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a cocktail before dinner. It's just been part of my life for so long and it's just what we do when we go out with friends or have dinner parties. But I'm noticing that my sleep is much better on nights where I don't drink anything.  So I will need to make an effort of reducing my glasses of wine. 

So here's to getting old. *raising my glass of water*

Summer Struggles and Fall Hopes

I struggle every single summer. We socialize multiple nights of the week and most of the socializing involves food and drink. 

This summer has been no exception. It's been a great summer, but I'm feeling done with it.  We have one more bout of vacation coming up at the end of August, but I'm seriously considering giving it back. I do like the one last week to enjoy the summer before the cold and rain creeps in and everything gets dark and gloomy and if I was on track with food and exercise, I would welcome the vacation with open arms. But I'm just not there, at least right now. 

Today I'm back to work and routine after being off for 10 days. 10 days of great times, but lots of food and drinks and other than our casual biking with friends, ZERO exercise.  Our 10 days off included BBQ picnic at the local farm, dinners out with friends, 80 mile bike ride through Washington on the centennial bike trail, another 60 Mile bike ride to Victoria, BC with a lavish stay at the Oak Bay Beach Hotel and Spa, a few days of Golf and lots of visits with friends and family. 

I woke up today and felt a small fire burning under my butt. I checked my emails and then hopped on the bike for a quick 20 minute ride. A very slow, effortless ride, but 20 minutes regardless. Then I did a quick 30 minute upper body strength sesh and then a 20 minute very lax walk with the pups.  It felt GOOD! 

Not sure how I will feel tomorrow, both physically and mentally but the endorphins were endorphing today and I loved how it felt. 

Stepped on the scale too... 186.5. 

Gotta start somewhere right?! 

We continue...

I'm still struggling with my weight. It does not seem to be creeping up any longer but it's not dropping either.  It will drop a lb or 2 and then go up again. 

I'm still bloated, not in the same way that I was a few weeks back but I'm noticing much more "gas" than usual. I think I need to try dropping dairy to see if that improves things at all. 

I've also been tracking my blood pressure and it's been higher the last few weeks than before and I know that is because of the weight gain. 

I had been switching to weight training from cardio but I think I need to add the cardio back in. So instead of doing 3 strength training and 1 cardio a week I'm going to switch it and do 3 cardio and hopefully 1 to 2 strength a week.  

Still no period - I'm at 94 days now since my last one and I have been feeling PMS type symptoms for sure but nothing ever comes about. At this point, I hope I don't get another one and this is my entry into full menopause. The doctor says I have to be 1 year with no period to be considered in menopause. I had 5 cycles last  year so I know they are slowing down, but who knows if the last one that I had will be the official last one. 

It's been hot here as well. Today is 30 feels like 35 (86 feeling like 95 for those not in the Celsius world) I know it's not the crazy hot that those that live in the hot states and countries, but we don't have central air so anything above 22 (68) is hell in this house.  We do have air conditioners in our bedrooms so we can sleep at night comfortably. Don't really have the energy to get much done but hopefully the heat wave will only last a few days. 

That's it... keeping at it. SIGH

Getting Deeper

The Rut is getting deeper. 

I don't get it. I've reigned in the snacking. I've drastically reduced my carbs and I'm drinking more water. 

I've been tracking my weight daily and my weight keeps climbing. Well it started to drop last week and then started to rise again. 

UGH. 

I'm getting very discouraged. 

It's been 73 days since my last period so I don't know if my body is holding onto weight for that reason or if something else is going on. Maybe it's hormonal? 

I've been bloated. Like soooo soooo bloated. It's been going on for a few weeks and it's even been painful at times. I have started taking magnesium at night which seems to have had a bit of improvement but I still feel so puffy. 

I'm going to keep going because what other choice do I have? Hoping to see some sort of loss next week. 

Rut

A rut. That is what I'm in. 

I will make better choices, better decisions for a day and then I'm right back into doing things and eating things that I know I should not. Things that I can't do or eat as I know they are not part of the plan to better "ME"

I've been struggling to get back into a rhythm since returning from vacation. First it was a bunch of birthday parties/celebrations, then mothers day, then my birthday and now father's day is upon us. I just can't keep making bad decisions during these celebrations. I need to reel it in and NOW!

Here is weird thing that I have discovered about myself.  I find that once I reach a GOAL, I tend to release the pressure and in a way, give up. I do this both physically and mentally. The first time  that I can recall doing this was during my eldest son's graduation from high school. I worked super hard to lose a bunch of weight, it happened, grad happened, we celebrated and then I could not get back into good habits. 

Then it happened again a few years ago when I started eating low carb and exercising, I lost the weight, got down to the 170s where I wanted so desperately to be and then the weight started creeping up. Not drastically, but I could not get down again to where I was when I met my "goal". 

And now, in April, my goal was to get ready for Hawaii and even though I did not get exactly where I wanted to, I was in a good pattern and making good habits and then the "goal" of hawaii passed and I am back where I usually am, giving up.  

It really makes me not want to set goals. But how else do we measure success? If its not on a scale or a size of clothing, how do we know we are doing the right things? 

As of yesterday I was back to 185. I haven't been doing anything crazy with my eating or drinking etc, but it's the little things that just add up. It's also me not taking accountability. Before I went to Hawaii I would weigh in daily and I kept track of my weight on a spreadsheet. I would see the ups and downs and it kept me accountable. I now weigh myself maybe every 3 or 4 days. When I saw the 185 yesterday morning, I almost threw up. I was 176 on the day we left for Hawaii so I'm almost 10 lbs up in just over a month. 

So goals have to be in my future and I need to learn to reach them and push on through them. I am not usually one for setting number goals like desired lbs to drop, so I have to set action goals. 

My first goal is to weigh in and track my weight each day this week. I need to get back on track with the accountability. 

I have to return to no snacking after work. I know that one is biting me in the butt by adding a bunch of unnecessary calories that are ending up my body and on the scale.  

I also find that when I don't post here, I don't do as well. It's my way to be accountable to myself and anyone that cares to have a read once and awhile. Somehow, writing it down, makes it that much more real. 

It's almost the summer. We socialize a lot more with friends and family in the summer and most of that socialization is with food/drink. I need to get a handle on it now so that my weight does not spiral out of control in the summer. 

I can do this... I've done it before. Time for another reset. 

Let's Right the Wrongs

All honesty here...

Since we have returned from vacation, I have not reverted my diet from vacation diet to home diet. Well I started to in the first few days, but since then, we have had a few birthday celebrations and mother's day  just this past weekend and the food has been flowing! It's just time to get things back to normal! 

I think intermittent fasting is a good way to get things back on track. That and adding more exercise back to the plan. 

So plan this week is to work out at least 3 times and to try to get my 16 hours of intermittent fasting each day. 

Oh and the boys bought me a Creami for mother's day. YAY, cause ice cream!! but NOOOOO cause Ice Cream! I know there are lots of healthy options out there, I will just have to search them out! 

And more WATER! My skin has been suffering a bit the last few months and I know it's because I'm not drinking enough water. So need to start getting more glasses/carafes of water into my body. 

Off to do a workout now...

April Update

It's been awhile and I know I didn't provide an end of March update. Nothing much to report. 

Even April has not much to report but I figured it's time to add a post, as I know my actions regarding weight loss and healthy habits is better when I post. 

We just returned from Hawaii. The vacation was amazing. It was the best time with the family and I'm already getting ready to plan a return visit! 

We did some great activities - goat yoga, hiking, rented mopeds and lots of walks. When the boys golfed, the girls relaxed on the beach! And we ATE. So much good food. The fruit, the freshly caught fish... all amazing! 

The morning we left Vancouver, my weight was 176.6 and on return it was 180.6. I'm pleasantly surprised with that and I'll take it! 

Back to eating better and drinking water instead of Mai Tais!  Such an amazing trip. 

Onto the next one...  

Accountability

I've been off track this week. Not crazy off track, but enough that I'm starting to feel the pull back to the other side. The side of bad eating choices, no exercise, not taking care of myself properly. 

This post is for my accountability.  

We celebrated a close friend's birthday mid week which threw me off plan. We went out for dinner, which was a set menu and the choices were not great, but I did the best I could. I had planned before I left that I would only have soda water, but I caved. I had the wine. I had the dessert. I'm not proud but I have to be real with myself that this will happen and I need to deal with it and then get back on track. 

The problem is that I didn't. 

I didn't exercise yesterday and I had another unplanned, unhealthy meal last night. So it's Friday, which is usually my "splurge" night, but I'm going to stick to being good and forego the planned glass of wine at the pub tonight. It's soda water and a salad :).   Friday, after all is just another day in the week. My Friday was already had, on Wednesday! 

I'm exercising today too... and tomorrow! Just over a month until Hawaii! 

Springing into Spring

Last month was another success. I managed to lose 2.6 lbs which originally I was not happy about, but when I stopped and thought about it, I realized that the loss was 1/2 a lb a week, which is amazing for me. I also did not have the usual yo-yoing of losing 2, going up 2, losing 2, going up 3 etc. 

Yes, my body did ups and downs but they were more controlled and overall, the number was on the decline. 

This is what my WI app looked liked at the end of the month so yes, ups and downs, but trend was DOWN!  On Feb 29th I was 178.6 so IN the 170s!!  I'm over the wall., now onto the next wall!  

My exercise has continued. I have reduced my strength training to 3 or 4 days a week rather than 5 so I can add in more rides/walks. All seems good so far. 

That is all the good. Here is the bad. I found out on Monday, that our family doctor has had to retire due to medical reasons and now our entire family is orphaned. We have NO family doctor. I had this family doctor for over 40 years.  There is no doctor to buy the practice and there are no doctors available to take us on.  I'm terrified and angry. Our Canadian medical system sucks. Yes, it's free, but there are 700,000 people in my province alone that do not have a doctor. I'm now on a list with 400,000 other residents trying to find a family doctor. On top of that, the 3 walk-in clinics that we had in our town have converted to full practices and they are no longer seeing walk-ins unless you are a registered patient with them. This just sucks. I've been very upset about the entire thing all week but I can't make myself sick about it, because I don't have a doctor to help me with stress/sickness. 

Sigh... so all the more reason to keep on this fight for my health. 

February Progress

It's been a few weeks since I reported but all in all, things are still going well. I was upping my strength training, but that resulted in a decrease in my cardio. 

I'm taking a small step back from strength this week to try to incorporate cardio back in. I know the cardio is good for my heart so it's important to keep in the mix. The small walks I do daily with the dogs do not get my heart beating in the way that it needs to so the bike or walks without dogs is what is needed. 

I went for a walk with an old friend on Saturday. We walked for over an hour and a half and it was fantastic.  We ended up walking over 9 KM and my legs were getting jiggly by the end. We vowed to try to keep that up once a week with each other as it felt so good and was a nice way to get outside, catch up and get some steps in. 

My weight has been bouncing up and down but I'm not going to report any gains/losses until the end of the month, which is just around the corner. I'm truly hoping to see some good numbers next week though as I've been doing the right things. 

It's starting to warm up here in Vancouver and the bulbs are starting to poke out of the ground.  We've had a couple frosty mornings but the afternoons are wonderful. Not quite warm enough for no jacket, but enjoyable and hopefully a sign of warmer weather to come. It's time to start planning the outdoor projects for the spring. 

We spend most of our days in the spring/summer outside and I'm really happy with the improvements that we made to our backyard last summer. There is still lots to be done, but the bulk of the work (ie. new concrete pad, new overhang, new furniture etc) is all done. Now we can focus on foliage and other decorations around the yard to make it even more enjoyable. 

That's it for now. I'm going to do some checking on blood pressure numbers this week to see how they are looking, but I'm hopeful all will look amazing! 

January Recap - what worked, what didn't work

January was a success! 

I managed to get my groove back and have made some serious strides to improving my health. 

I lost 5.8 lbs in January which I'm thrilled about.  Finished off the month at 180.8, so so close to the 170s. I have not seen the 170s in some time, but I can smell it, taste it, feel it! It's there for the grabbing! 

I did well with my eating.  I drastically reduced my snacking and as it was dry January, I did not have any alcohol, except for the one planned night, on January 28th. 

Apart from the food choices, this is what I'm most proud of below.... that is my activity calendar from my Peloton account. Look at all them blue dots!! Yes, the first week was a bit of a bust, but as of the 8th, I would say I killed it. The blue dots represent rides, strength and stretching activities. I told myself at the start of January I wanted to commit to doing 4 physical activities, other than walking the dog 2x daily, a week.  And I did it. 

I'm very very proud of myself. 

So what worked? EVERY THING ABOVE!!! 

What didn't work? Actually nothing, didn't work. I didn't have any point in the month where I thought, "man I screwed up". I did have the one evening on the 28th where my food choices were not ideal, but who cares? It was one day, I planned it, I survived it, I moved on. 

I'm so excited for February.... let's do this! 

Feeling Almost Amazing

I promised myself last week that even though I did not see a lot of success on the scale, I knew that I was doing the right thing and to keep at it. 

I did keep at it and even upped my effort and I am starting to see the scale numbers fall. This morning I weighed in at 181.7. That number is GREAT, but even better is that it was lower on Saturday and Sunday!  So I know it's going in the right direction. 

What have I been doing? Really controlling my eating/snacks and no alcohol. The no alcohol thing is really just my vow to clean out the system from Christmas and the holidays. 

This last week I had a birthday party and was so good with my choices.  I had one blip with my eating and that was yesterday but it was a planned blip.  We had a planned night with friends to go to see Nate Bargatze perform.  We bought the tix back in October. I decided at the start of January that because the show as the 28th, I would allow myself a glass or two of wine as we had also planned to go to dinner with friends, but I was going to make sure I ate something light and healthy (ie salad) 

Here is the crappy thing.... the restaurant that we planned to go to, we could not get into. Or rather we could BUT... we would likely not make show. So that was not an option. We walked around vancouver in the rain for about 20 minutes before we settled on another restaurant. It was not busy but were told that the kitchen staff was backed up and meals could take awhile. We only had an hour!  So we decided to just order a bunch of appetizers rather than actual meals and then head to the show.  We ordered nachos, hot wings and some thai chicken bite things. It was all good BUT not on plan at all. I also had two glasses of wine. UGH... last night the heart burn kicked in and I felt like poop. 

So bad to the grind today. Although January is almost over and thus dry January comes to an end, I also think I'll carry it over to February. Yes, I had a blip yesterday but I much prefer how I feel when I don't drink. My sleep is better, my skin is amazing right now as well so I know what my body likes and doesn't like. 

I'm really proud of myself for my efforts in my exercise and my food choices so why stop now? 

Oh and my period finally arrived... 91 days since last one. Hopefully it doesn't stay for too long. 

Onto February! :) only 2.5 months till Hawaii!!!! 

Mini Fluctuations and Frustrations

 I've been doing all the right things. ALL of the right things. I'm eating well, no alcohol or sugary drinks and exercising. 

Weight is creeping up again. 

Not going to totally stress it cause maybe it's just my body doing annoying body things. I know I'm enterig peri-menopause cause I've only  had 2 periods in the last 8 months. I'm currently sitting at 81 days since my last one. I could have one coming on or it could just be my body pretending to have a period and doing all the PMS prep like gain weight etc ?? 

I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and keep weighing every morning to see what happens. I like to weigh daily cause it keeps me on track and accountable 

Last thursday the scale got down to 181.9 and this week I'm back up to 183.4. Not terrible, but I really expected the weight to at least stay the same or drop this week.  

I'm not being obsessive... yet. :)

Last weekend was busy so I'm happy for no plans this weekend. We got a dumping of snow this week so I will spend the weekend in the house, watching the snow melt with the puppies, oh and hubby too! 

Goals and Future Plans

Last week went well. It seems, at least for now, I have a focus with this upcoming trip to get healthier. 

Last week I ate more vegetables, which caused me a lot of gas (LOL). I did not partake in any alcohol and tried my best to stay away from treats. I believe we are almost done with all the chocolate gifties from friends & family which will be good! I need those out of my house but I have such a hard time just throwing them in the garbage. Someone spent good money to gift us chocolates so we should enjoy them, but not gorge on them!  Balance. 

I started moving my body again this week. A couple small rides and getting back into strength training and it all feels good. 

My weight has been going down consistently, today I saw a little blip up, but I have been on track so I know it's just normal fluctuations or maybe a bit of muscle strain. It's all good. This morning I was 183.4. 

So the holiday bloat seems to be gone, so now the work begins to move that number down. 

We had friends over for dinner on the weekend and got on the topic of retirement as my friend is scheduled to retire in July. Amazing! I don't feel like retirement is anywhere in my immediate horizon, however hubby figured out that he would like to retire in January of 2026.  

The whole topic of retirement got me thinking about myself and when I would like to complete work and more importantly, what do we do after we retire? I want to have a plan. Maybe a hobby or maybe some volunteer work. Maybe I'll be a grandma by then!? Who knows. 

But it makes me realize that I need to get in shape now and get my  health in order, so that when I'm ready to be done work, my retirement days/years will be enjoyable and allow me to do whatever I physically want to do. 

New Year - new goal!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I last updated this blog. Needless to say, nothing has changed. I'm the same old me that I was a few months ago. 

A small recap. 

Things overall have been good. Oldest boy moved out with this girlfriend in early November, so been going through the transition of him not living at home anymore. I think I'm somewhat used to it now. 

He did move home for 3 days over Christmas, which was nice to have him home, but I could tell by day 3, he was itching to head back to his apartment. :)  He's growing up... not needing me anymore. I knew the day would come and at least I have my younger son still at home to keep me feeling needed! 

The month of December was busy but good overall. I have to admit that this is the first holiday season in many many year that I have not gotten sick. I made a point of taking a dosage of Zinc every day and I'm not sure but I think that might have helped build up my immune system. 

People around me were sick and I never got sick, so....maybe? 

At the start of December, my son contacted me asking about helping him to book a flight to Arizona in February. While I was searching for flights for him, I happened to find a flight sale from Vancouver to Maui so I booked the whole family a trip to Maui in April. I'm very excited. We are taking the boys and their girlfriends and neither of the girls have ever been to Hawaii so I'm so excited to give them this gift! Hawaii is just magical to me and I'm excited to return. 

With an upcoming trip in April, I finally feel the drive to get a few lbs off. Last year, I wanted to get them off, but I also wanted cheese. Cheese always seemed to win out. 

So we are now over the holidays, it's time to get serious and get some of these extra lbs off! 

Do I hate New Year's resolutions?? YUP.... but I see this more as a 3.5 month goal that just happens to be starting today! 

BTW - my weight is up from all the loveliness that the holiday season brings. So starting a little bit back but hopefully in a week or two I'll be back to where I started at the beginning of December. 

Today ... 186.6. UGH.