Week 4, Day 5

Momma is mad today!

There are a variety of reasons that I be pissed off and I will list them here;

1. Stupid reviews this week and the general feeling so far is that they have not been positive reviews. I opted to receive mine after I returned from vacation. As I don't want to go on vacation pissed off. I guess I would rather come back to work and then be pissed off.

2. My good good friend that I am going to Vegas with is losing weight every week. And she only weighs 130 right now... I'm very happy for her, don't get me wrong, but it just doesn't seem fair. I'm just mad with myself.

3. I have not lost what I wanted to lose by the time we left for Vegas and am mad about that . I keep telling myself that this is not a quick fix and it will take months.. but I would like to see the results faster, everyone else seems to have faster results than I do!! :( Just a pity party.

4. I got my hair cut today and I don't think I like it. I is short and makes my face look round. I will have to play with it tonight when I get home.

5. I got a wrap at Freshii today (I haven't been there in quite some time). They only list the calories on their board and then if you want additional nutritional info you need to look it up online. The wrap I ordered was Quinoa, Chicken, Avacado, Cabbage, green onion and salsa in a whole wheat wrap. It was listed as 360 calories. So 7 maybe 8 pts right?!  NOT!!! That bitch was 21 pts! I'm so mad... Wasted all my daily points on that f@(*#)@$@ thing!  False advertising. I won't go back there again.

6. Haven't decided if I'm going to work on monday or not. The way today is going I think I should take the extra vacation day and chill....

7. Oh and the scale reported 201.0 this morning.. Think I will kick it when I get home from work.

Argh!

Week 4, Day 3

Skipped a day yesterday in my posting, not because I was bad and trying to hide out but because I had not really interesting to note.  Although do I ever really have something of interest to talk about ...

So thankfully when I hopped on the scale today my weight was back to where it was last week, not great, but at least that means the majority of the bloat is gone. I feel better too, less puffy.

It was pouring out last night but I was determined to go for a walk. I headed out and it was nasty. Really wet and windy so I changed my mind and said, screw this, I'm going to run instead of walk. I ended up only going for about 30 minutes but I ran for about 1/2 of that.. maybe a bit more than half. It felt good. My lungs are still struggling but I know they are better than they were a week or two ago. I figure I'll add in a run at least once a week to get me moving again.  The one thing I still struggle with is getting that full breath in when I run. I seem to get a 3/4 breath in and then it holds at the top. Hard to explain but it's like the breath is climbing a mountain and it never seems to get to the other side, it gets close to the top and then falls back down. Strange analogy I know..  Anyway, my hope is that I can clear that mountain in the next few weeks.

I ordered a few things from Old Navy last week and they arrived. I like Old Navy for sping/summer cause their pieces are simple and usually fit quite well (at least for me). I rarely cycle my spring clothes into next season so I dont' like to fork out too much money during the spring for a wardrobe that will only last a few months.

Winter is a different story. I like to spend money on good quality things in Winter but I will wear the basic pieces over and over and over again each winter season. If they still fit that is.

So anyways, I ordered a few things from Old Navy and they all fit. Some almost too big but I'm not going to send them back because I need a few pieces for the next month or so....

Cause I'm gonna get into that smaller size...

I mentioned last week that I would start writing NSVs in addition to Goals so here goes:
NSV
1. Newly purchased clothes are going back because I don't like them, not because they don't fit!
2. I ran again :)
3. my skin feels clearer with all the water I've been drinking! Yay me

Goals:
1. Water
2. Stay within points
3. 8000 steps!

Later Peeps!

Week 4, Day 1 and WI?

It was the morning where I knew if I stepped on the scale it would be bad news... just knew it! I've been tracking my weight and weight fluctuations for about 6 weeks now so I know how my body behaves and how I retain at certain points of the month. I also know that because I've been feeling so bloated and uncomfortable for the last few days that it was going to be bad news. I knew it !! So why did I weigh in.

I could have easily just walked on by it and not bothered, but I have to know. It's an obsession. I have to step on it and see what it says. I've always said that it doesn't affect my moods but I think we all know how it feels when the scale is down a few pounds. It feels better than sex... admit it!  And we all know that when it goes up, every possible reason flows through our little pea brains to explain the slight gain. We blame salt, clothes, not enough water, too much water, not going to the bathroom, etc etc...

The reality is that I feel great. Great. I look in the mirror and am starting to really like what I see. I can feel smoothness down my waist to my hips and I feel my hip bones and collar bones. These are signs that my body is turning from mostly fat to not mostly fat! That is important and healthy for me. I'm never going to be 130 lbs... hell I might not make 150 but these small signs are signs that things are getting better for me.

I know that I did not eat 7000 extra calories this week to explain the 2 lb gain. I'll record it with a note saying that it's the "hormonal hell week" and move on.

I am not ready to put the scale away yet, because if I had not tracked my weight all week, every day I think I would have been more disappointed this week. I fully expect the 2 lbs to be gone by Wednesday and then I can proceed with last weeks and this weeks accomplishments.

We press on....

Week 3, Day 5

Yesterday was a success at home. As much as I love working from home, I hate the temptations of working from home, in other words the fridge! I work in the dining room so the fridge is within smelling distance. But I did well

Goals from yesterday:
1. Water - CHECK
2. STay within pts - CHECK
3. Workout and get steps in (4500) - CHECK
Yesterday was a good day. Actually I was under my pts, which I don't like doing but at the same time I know I have a birthday dinner tonight so I will probably need some extra pts.

Good news is I'm not up yet this week and it's the hormonal week gain. So either it's coming still or I'm on track.. I'm still the same as I was on monday so I'll take that as a plus. My belly has been doing flip flops for the last two days which is typical so I know that it is ovulation time. Oh well, hoping that I see a loss on monday. I've been good.

Also starting to slowly put back items in MFP and run with MFP and WW simultaneiously. I want to track for the next few weeks how many calories I'm eating when I'm staying within my points. We will see what it ends up being.

Looking forward to a good but lazy weekend....

Goals for today:
1. Water
2. Limit to 2 glasses of wine!
3. Make wise choices with food at dinner


Next week I think I'll start adding some NSVs.... cause they perk a person up don't they??

HAGW!
momma...

Week 3, Day 4

I'm not sure why my body has to do this funky game every month. It feels like everything I put into my body is just going to come out (instantly).. probably TMI but considering that this is more of an online journal than a broadcast, I think I'll write about it!

Take my coffee for example? Why did I drink it this morning? Should I have another cup, probably doesn't make much sense... but I will anways :)

It's a home day today. I'm working from home, but that also means that I can get some "home" things done.. like laundry, a bathroom or two and maybe even get a workout in. Actually, yes, get a workout in. I will do so at lunch!

I am itching to go for  walk again tonight as well. Been cooped up in the house for too many days. Went to he banquet last night and it was lovely. What a great group of boys, I wish them all the success in the world! And I hope they remember me when they become big NHL stars one day! :) Love you all

But I was a good girl with my food. It was a buffet so I had lots of veggies, salad with italian dressing, more veggies and about 1 cup or less of pasta with chicken and marinara.

I had 1/2 a cookie and a small bite of the caramel dessert. I have no idea how many points that turned out to be so I'll just call it a day with no overage.. I had 18 pts for the rest of the day anyways. Oh I did have 2 glasses of red too, well maybe I went over by just a bit...

So like I said, today is my back in the saddle get moving day. Tomorrow we have dinner out with friends but I know the restaurant so I can plan my meal accordingly. YAY! Good choices!

Todays goals:
1. Water
2. STay within pts
3. Workout and get steps in (4500)

That's it... that's enough!

Peace out!

Week 3, Day 3

I've been lazy this week. I think it's a combination of daylight savings time week and the weather and likely the "hormonal hell" week. Regardless, I have zero energy.

I'm taking a vitamin D supplement until the real sun comes out and it does help somewhat.

When I get home the last thing that I want to do is move, walk etc but it's what I have to do. Last night I could have walked after dinner but I didn't... I sat and watched TV. Yes, it was raining but it wasn't downpouring. I could have walked for 20 min.. at least.

I need to be better about that. Not tonight though. I will get home at 4:30 and then we have to leave at 5 for a banquet dinner for N. We won't be home until close to 9:30 or so. But that's ok, I will get in a few steps here and there before I get home.

Goals from yesterday:
1. Water - CHECK
2. Stay within points - CHECK
3. Walk 6000 steps - only doing this if the rain stops... so might not happen.  NEGATIVE FAIL
4. Pushups 2 sets of 18 - 1/2 CHECK.. Managed 1 set of 18 and then a second set of 11.
5. plan out lunch again tomorrow. - CHECK

Goals today:
1.  Make decent choices at dinner as it's a buffet

Only setting one goal today as I won't be able to track pts very well throughout dinner and my entire evening revolves around this dinner.

I'm home tomorrow so I will need to get a workout in tomorrow at lunch. I'll set new goals in the AM.

Week 3, day 2

I'm starting to enter HORMONAL WEIGHT GAIN week. I happens every month, some months are worse than others. Last month I saw a 5 lb gain that lasted for a few days and I was so uncomfortable for a few of those days. I looked back in my food diary on those days to see what I ate to try and avoid the same types of foods..

Guess what? I didn't post on those days..... how can I be accountable if I'm not honest with myself!?

So, lesson learned, I need to post, every day, even the bad ones so that I can use them as reference later on.

So far so good, no big cravings but I know they are coming. I bought some 100 Cal Revellos last weekend and hopefully if the kids have not found and eaten them all, there might be 1 or 2 left to get me through the week/weekend.

I'm feeling really good, feeling like I'm a size 6.. when of course I know I'm not. I will be so happy to see a 1 on that scale next week (fingers crossed) and a new size in my clothes soon....

Yesterdays goals?
1. water - need to get this in as weekend was bad  - CHECK
2. find a healthy lunch as I didn't pack one  - CHECK subway!!
3. Walk today - 8000 steps  - CHECK 9000
4. pushups 2 sets of 18 - FAIL
5. plan out meals for lunch tomorrow  - CHECK

today's goals:
1. Water
2. Stay within points
3. Walk 6000 steps  - only doing this if the rain stops... so might not happen.
4. Pushups 2 sets of 18
5. plan out lunch again tomorrow.
I feel better today than I have in many.... I know the moods will shift this week as well, but for now it's all GOOD! 

Week 3 day 1....

Weekend recap - the weekend was busy with the boys activities but I did manage to clean out a portion of the laundry room. We have a storage area at the back of our laundry room that was full of totes, old clothes etc. I managed to pack up 2 boxes and 3 bags of clothes for donation. Felt Awesome! Nothing else in my house was cleaned but at least I got that bit done. I can clean my house during the week.

R had his final tournament this week and it was an hour away from home. 1 game each day. This posed a few challenges around food choices but I did very well. On both Saturday and sunday we stopped at Tim H/Wendy's and on both occasions I chose salad. The Cobb one so there was some protein in the salad and it was very filling. Proud of myself!

I knew I had to be good with my food because I was not going to get a chance to get out for my walks/run this weekend. Well I would have had time, but I chose to do things around the house instead. The weather is supposed to be nasty this week but I will make a point of getting out.

The good news I'm down another 2 lbs....
LWW - 202
TWW - 200... actually it fluttered between 199.5 and 200 but I'll take the 200 because I think it's more accurate.

And I know that next week is the week I will struggle due to ovulation week so this will give me more incentive to lose next week - to break into onederland!!! it's so close!

But I have officially lost 5% since starting WW.... I need to set a new Weight Loss Goal!

My daily goals are:
1. water - need to get this in as weekend was bad
2. find a healthy lunch as I didn't pack one
3. Walk today - 8000 steps
4. pushups 2 sets of 18
5. plan out meals for lunch tomorrow

Have a good monday!!

Week 2 Day 5! It's friday!!

It's been a good week so to speak in terms of foot and movement! I have stayed within pts for almost every day and have not dipped into my weeklies at all, just my activity points so I think that is success.

I'm being much more concious of decisions with food. I had a 100 cal revello last night and then felt the need to burn it off. I went for a 20 min run. I haven't run in over a year and it felt great!!

Came home and I was sweaty and sticky and it felt great!

goals for today:
1. Find a healthy lunch because I did not pack one!
2. Drink water
3. 6000 steps
4. Healthy meal before N game
5. limit to 1 glass of wine after or before game


I am looking forward to the weekeend. I have some cleaning to do and then R has a tournament but the games are at night so we can start to do some planning and shopping for Vegas!

I also have a feeling that my weight is going to be goooooood on monday and I'm going to see a loss. We will see.

Until Monday - HAGW!

Week 2 Day 4....a little reflection

Going to a funeral is not a fun thing to do, espeically when it's with your 14 year old son. Yesterday, we attended the funeral of N's good friend's mom. She passed away from brain cancer at the age of 59.   I never knew this lady, hadn't even met her before. The ceremony was lovely. Friends and family spoke such kind words about her and there was even a slide show that travelled through her 59 years on this earth. Although, I never knew her, she seemed like a lovely person.  A really kind person. You could tell in her photos. Each of them captured a smile that could be photocopied from one to the next.

I've posted about this before but this funeral made me think more and more and more about it. If I were to die tomorrow or soon, or whenever, would there be photos for my family to remember me?

The flat out answer to that is no. I hate my picture to be taken because I hate the reflection I see when I look at it. That fat person is not me. When other people look in the photo do they see a fat person? Maybe, but they hopefully see more than that and see me... Who I am.

I've been setting short term goals but I'm making this long term goal right now. I will get more photos of me from this point on regardless of my weight. My boys deserve to have memories that they can show their children/grandchildren etc in the event that I'm not physically here.

This will start in Vegas. That's my new goal.

Week 2 - Day 3 Struggles

Today will be different as I'm working from home today so that I can attend a funeral in the afternoon. The Funeral is for the mother of a friend of N, so I'm more going for him than for me. I didn't know the woman the passed but her daughter is close to N so we both thought it would be important for him to be there to support her.  Days like these make me realise that my baby is no longer my baby, he's growing up, showing responsibility and will one day no longer need me... Well need me in the mothering sense.  As sad as this afternoon will be I look forward to spending some time with N.

Working from home means my hours will be a bit wonky and so will the temptations of being home and working 10 feet away from my fridge! But considering I was an utter failure yesterday with my goals, I will need to be in super control today of my grazing and snacking.

So the goals:
1. Drink my water  - I'll say FAIL as I did not drink when I got home
2. Stay within pts  -  Went over by 1, but I'll call that a CHECK cause I had extra activity pts to consume
3. 5500 steps - FAIL - only managed 3800. Bad..
4. 24 push ups - FAIL
5. cut up veggies for lunch tomorrow - FAIL

ok - so it was a good thing that I didn't delete the goals that I thought were habit by now. Apparently they are not. The one thing that is helping me is this blog. I think by blogging every day it keeps me in check and makes me review my prior day to see how I was doing. This is not something I did in the past and I would get off track so easily.

New goals for today:
1. Drink my water and maybe some of yesterday's water
2. Stay within pts
3. 8000 steps
4. 24 push ups - 2X!
5. go shopping for more veggies and prep

I should be able to reach all of these goals and hopefully exceed them. Last night was busy when I got home from work with the kids. S was at the hockey game so I had to do the running around by myself. That was all fine but it really took away the "me" time that I like to have each evening. Oh well, working from home today should give me some "me" time.

The one other thing I noticed is when S is not home, I tend to not plan very well with my food. I snack, I pick, I graze rather than planning out a meal and eating it.  This is more of laziness than anything else. I figure if I'm making the kids dinner and I don't want to eat it, rather than make myself dinner, I'll just pick at things; nuts, bread, yogurt etc.  I need to be better about sitting down and eating a meal. That will make my mind check off the "dinner" check box and stop me from grazing all night. When I don't have a proper sit down meal at night I give myself permission to graze all night because I never had dinner. And I end up over eating.

So...we will see how today goes. Apart from the sadness of this afternoon, I do look forward to my challenges and my N time!

Until tomorrow.

Week 2 day 2

Last night was a good night. Went home, had fajitas for dinner and then went for a long walk with the hubs. Came home and watched BL with the fam and to bed by 10... not too bad!

Tonight will be different as R has a game and N has practice so we will be out running around until about 8pm. Will need to have some sort of dinner ready when we come home, or we could just have eggs... nothing wrong with eggs for dinner.

Yesterday's goals?
1. Drink my water - CHECK
2. Stay within pts - CHECK
3. 7000 steps! - CHECK 8000
4. 20 push ups - CHECK
5. try on swimsuit! - FAIL

Ok - first thing I noticed is that I have checked off drink water and stay within pts each day. Do I remove them or keep them on seeing as they are the goals that I really do want to achieve on a daily basis? I think I'll leave them for now seeing as I can't really come up with anything all that interesting anyways.

The swimsuit? Why did I not try it on? Cause I honestly ran out of time, and by the time I remembered I was already dressed for bed.  I will do it.. I'm sure it will fit but I do need to check anyways.

Today's goals
1. Drink my water
2. Stay within pts
3. 5500 steps
4. 24 push ups
5. cut up veggies for lunch tomorrow

I'm home tomorrow but I still want to be prepared so that I don't munch on everything all day. Have a funeral to attend tomorrow so it will be a sad day which may make me want to much all day.

I also checked the scale today and it's up a bit, but I expected that. I had a sodium filled dinner last night and honestly it's always higher on Tuesday than it is on monday. Must be something about the after wi day!

Until tomorrow.

Week 2 - Day 1

It's a new week and I'm now 3 weeks away from Las Vegas so need to step it up and really work hard over the next few weeks. I know that the last week before I go to Vegas is going to be a tough one because I typically gain the week before my period and that be it!  Oh well.... track, drink my water, do my walks and hope for goodness..  :)

So the good news.. my wi! I lost 3.5 lbs this week! I'm now 202. I even stepped on the scale twice to see if it was true and both times it came up with 202! Whooop!

Looking like I should be out of the 2s by end of March for sure!

So the big change for me last week was staying within my points and my mini goals. So here it goes again.

Goals for today:
1. Drink my water
2. Stay within pts
3. 7000 steps!
4. 20 push ups
5. try on swimsuit!

I have such motivation today, I'm hoping it will continue for the week. I have planned to work out (walk) on Monday, Wed and thursday due to the kids schedule.

I want to also look back a few weeks and see what I ate to see where I went wrong. We will see.

Let's keep this up!!  Did I say Whoop!

Week 1 Day 5

 Even though it's the wicked week of pain and bloating. I'm feeling awesome! Best I have felt in quite some time. I feel the weight coming off, I feel a bit slimmer in my clothes... even though I know much of that is an illusion.

This morning my weight was 204. Maybe oh maybe could I be out of the 2s by the end of March?! Yes, I think I can.

Yesterday's goals:
1. Water - CHECK
2. Stay within pts - CHECK
3. clean downstairs bath  -  FAIL - but CLEANED HALF MAIN
4. 15 pushups - CHECK
5. 2000 steps... no walk tonight  CHECK 3890
Today's goals:
1. Water
2. Stay within pts
3. 15 pushups - 2 sets
4. 3000 steps - no walk tonight
5. enjoy one cheat!

It's friday and it's cheat night. Not sure what it will be but it will be something.

Have a great friday. Even though it's pouring rain!